I am not a nurse. I am not trained or equipped to deal with recently post-operative children who have holes in their throat. Especially when said hole is draining mucus at an alarming rate. I don't recall "cleaning mucus out of a hole in a client's neck" being in the job description, but they would probably say that falls under the "and anything else needed" section.
I so want to gag right now...
Showing posts with label Ewww.... Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ewww.... Show all posts
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Monday, October 30, 2006
Farm Fun
It appears that Dr. Phat Tony has exacted his revenge on Jack for cheating him out of his plan to kill Jill.
His post reminded me of some of the fun I had growing up on a sheep farm. Mind you, if you're city-folk, you'll likely find this more disgusting than fun(ny).
My family had the largest sheep farm in the county - Jackson Co, KS to be exact. I used to help with castrating the lambs & my job was to give 'em the shots after Dad used the nippers & before Grandpa banded their tails (to make them fall off).
I always liked to "help" Grandpa butcher. My idea of helping was playing with the innards after he gutted the sheep. See, you hang em up by their back feet, cut the throat & let the blood drain out before slicing them from stem to stern. The internal organs would fall out onto an empty feed sack where I'd get to learn about anatomy by cutting them up. The four stomachs were always cool but my favourite was the liver. Not sure why, but boy, they sure taste good fried up with onions & topped with a little mustard - yummy!
My cousins (all girls) & I would pretend to cook when we were younger, using mulberries, dirt, leaves, water, a little feed &, of course, placenta from recent births. My friend Pooky has taken to calling that concoction "placenta pie".
Mom used to open the freezer to find snakes, frogs, etc in ziploc bags that I had found on the dead on the road & saved to dissect. And of course, there were the frog legs & the time Flanders & I got a bunch of frog eyes in a jar...
Ah, good times... ;)
His post reminded me of some of the fun I had growing up on a sheep farm. Mind you, if you're city-folk, you'll likely find this more disgusting than fun(ny).
My family had the largest sheep farm in the county - Jackson Co, KS to be exact. I used to help with castrating the lambs & my job was to give 'em the shots after Dad used the nippers & before Grandpa banded their tails (to make them fall off).
I always liked to "help" Grandpa butcher. My idea of helping was playing with the innards after he gutted the sheep. See, you hang em up by their back feet, cut the throat & let the blood drain out before slicing them from stem to stern. The internal organs would fall out onto an empty feed sack where I'd get to learn about anatomy by cutting them up. The four stomachs were always cool but my favourite was the liver. Not sure why, but boy, they sure taste good fried up with onions & topped with a little mustard - yummy!
My cousins (all girls) & I would pretend to cook when we were younger, using mulberries, dirt, leaves, water, a little feed &, of course, placenta from recent births. My friend Pooky has taken to calling that concoction "placenta pie".
Mom used to open the freezer to find snakes, frogs, etc in ziploc bags that I had found on the dead on the road & saved to dissect. And of course, there were the frog legs & the time Flanders & I got a bunch of frog eyes in a jar...
Ah, good times... ;)
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Ewww Ewww Ewww...
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
A girl here gave herself a bloody nose, kept the blood & tried to give it to one of the other girls. Staff are thinkin' the second girl was going to DRINK! the blood.
Ewww ewww ewww... *gag*
A girl here gave herself a bloody nose, kept the blood & tried to give it to one of the other girls. Staff are thinkin' the second girl was going to DRINK! the blood.
Ewww ewww ewww... *gag*
Monday, August 14, 2006
Open Letter to the Creepy Guy in the Library
Just because someone gives you a quick, polite half smile when they catch you looking at them, doesn't mean you should hit on them.
Especially if they are half your age.
Ewww...
Especially if they are half your age.
Ewww...
Monday, July 31, 2006
Ewww... *Groan* SPLAT! *Groan*
The title above is pretty much the soundtrack from work last night.
I have to log the temperatures from the five fridges & freezers every night, so at 2am I went out to the garage to do that & get started cooking. The door to the fridge was hanging open several inches, since there were several heads of lettuce jammed in a shelf where there wasn't enough room for them. The temp in the fridge was 78*.
That's not exactly the ideal temp for the ten gallons of milk, seven dozen eggs and various other perishables stored in there. So, basically I spent the rest of the night cooking what I could without the rotten food & when a 1st shift person came in, I went out & recorded everything that had to be pitched. I think there four large garbage bags full of spoiled food.
Anyway, got that taken care of, the kids fed & they were doing chores. I was watching the non-chore-doers in the living room when I heard one of the girls call for a staff who was in another part of the cottage. I asked her what she needed. "The watermelon fell on the floor & is leaking red stuff." "You're kidding, right?" "No."
I went in the kitchen, and sure enough, there was large watermelon playing 'Humpty-Dumpty' on the floor. Got that cleaned & then chopped up while the girls went off to fill their heads with wisdom (umm, yeah, right) & am now eating a healthy breakfast of an ice cream sandwich while typing this. Guess it was just one of those nights.
Oh, yeah, we also just found out that a previous client was found dead in California. She's around 14 or 15, maybe 16.
I have to log the temperatures from the five fridges & freezers every night, so at 2am I went out to the garage to do that & get started cooking. The door to the fridge was hanging open several inches, since there were several heads of lettuce jammed in a shelf where there wasn't enough room for them. The temp in the fridge was 78*.
That's not exactly the ideal temp for the ten gallons of milk, seven dozen eggs and various other perishables stored in there. So, basically I spent the rest of the night cooking what I could without the rotten food & when a 1st shift person came in, I went out & recorded everything that had to be pitched. I think there four large garbage bags full of spoiled food.
Anyway, got that taken care of, the kids fed & they were doing chores. I was watching the non-chore-doers in the living room when I heard one of the girls call for a staff who was in another part of the cottage. I asked her what she needed. "The watermelon fell on the floor & is leaking red stuff." "You're kidding, right?" "No."
I went in the kitchen, and sure enough, there was large watermelon playing 'Humpty-Dumpty' on the floor. Got that cleaned & then chopped up while the girls went off to fill their heads with wisdom (umm, yeah, right) & am now eating a healthy breakfast of an ice cream sandwich while typing this. Guess it was just one of those nights.
Oh, yeah, we also just found out that a previous client was found dead in California. She's around 14 or 15, maybe 16.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Kill! Kill! Kill!
Straight White Guy Eric posted pictures of several spiders that were passing the time on his deck. Ick! My skin is still crawling.
I can handle snakes - I've killed garter snakes and a rattler or two. The college farm always had several rattlers around. Nine of the mares were bit in several weeks my second summer there (my Jazzi was one of the few who managed to avoid it).
But - spiders!?! They're Satan in the flesh and should all die. We had these honkin' big black & yellow spiders that would take up residence on the hay bales in the horse shed. SInce Dad wouldn't bother with killin' the durn things, I would take a can of Raid and spray the beasts until they fell down. Then I would continue spraying until they were covered with foam and quit squirming.
(I can't believe I just looked at all those spiders on thise sites to find that picture. Now I feel really creepy-crawly! Ick ick ick ick ick...)
Sydney helps keep them under control in the house. She's found several and played with them until I came along & saw what she had. Then, her new toy went squish!
I reserve the right to keep & bear Raid. If they come near my house, they die. They don't pay rent, they're trespassing & I discriminate against arachnids (unless their alter-ego is Peter Parker).
I can handle snakes - I've killed garter snakes and a rattler or two. The college farm always had several rattlers around. Nine of the mares were bit in several weeks my second summer there (my Jazzi was one of the few who managed to avoid it).
But - spiders!?! They're Satan in the flesh and should all die. We had these honkin' big black & yellow spiders that would take up residence on the hay bales in the horse shed. SInce Dad wouldn't bother with killin' the durn things, I would take a can of Raid and spray the beasts until they fell down. Then I would continue spraying until they were covered with foam and quit squirming.
(I can't believe I just looked at all those spiders on thise sites to find that picture. Now I feel really creepy-crawly! Ick ick ick ick ick...)
Sydney helps keep them under control in the house. She's found several and played with them until I came along & saw what she had. Then, her new toy went squish!
I reserve the right to keep & bear Raid. If they come near my house, they die. They don't pay rent, they're trespassing & I discriminate against arachnids (unless their alter-ego is Peter Parker).
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Creepy McCreep
I got a voicemail message several weeks ago from a guy who said he had just moved to the area and was going to my church. He asked if there was a singles group in church and wanted me to call him back. He also made a comment about my personal email address, which has "mopar" in it, asking if I drove mopars or something.
Dad kept fussing at me to call the guy because it would be rude not to and what if he doesn't come back to church because I was rude, etc. I accidentally deleted it before writing down his number (new voicemail system, got ahead of myself with the wrong number for save) and therefore couldn't call him back.
Well, this past Sunday I was having lunch with friends from church and mentioned that someone named Marty had left a message. Laura immediately interjected "NO! Don't call him back!"
She said this fella got the church directory and started calling all of the ladies who were listed by themselves. He called her, the church secretary and several others. When he called Laura, her mom answered and then called one of the pastors to let him know there was some guy calling around.
Mom said I should get an email address that has something to do with my love for weaponry to scare off all the creeps. Not a bad idea - threatening people in the church directory with my email address...
Update - Mom said I should clarify that I'm not wanting to threaten the people in church with an email address, just any Creepy McCreepsters who might think they'd like to try something.
Dad kept fussing at me to call the guy because it would be rude not to and what if he doesn't come back to church because I was rude, etc. I accidentally deleted it before writing down his number (new voicemail system, got ahead of myself with the wrong number for save) and therefore couldn't call him back.
Well, this past Sunday I was having lunch with friends from church and mentioned that someone named Marty had left a message. Laura immediately interjected "NO! Don't call him back!"
She said this fella got the church directory and started calling all of the ladies who were listed by themselves. He called her, the church secretary and several others. When he called Laura, her mom answered and then called one of the pastors to let him know there was some guy calling around.
Mom said I should get an email address that has something to do with my love for weaponry to scare off all the creeps. Not a bad idea - threatening people in the church directory with my email address...
Update - Mom said I should clarify that I'm not wanting to threaten the people in church with an email address, just any Creepy McCreepsters who might think they'd like to try something.
Monday, May 08, 2006
95 Million?!?
Somebody actually paid $95 million for this painting.
Ninety-five freakin' million dollars!
True, it's a Picasso, but that doesn't mean a whole lot to me personally. If you like him, that's all fine & dandy, but I'd rather look at a rotting banana peel hanging on my wall than that.
Seriously.
Look at it.
To me, that's something from a nightmare or horror movie. I can just see someone walking down the hallway at 3am, on the way to the kitchen for a drink when they see that green face out of the corner of their eye.
*shudder*
Ninety-five freakin' million dollars!
True, it's a Picasso, but that doesn't mean a whole lot to me personally. If you like him, that's all fine & dandy, but I'd rather look at a rotting banana peel hanging on my wall than that.
Seriously.
Look at it.
To me, that's something from a nightmare or horror movie. I can just see someone walking down the hallway at 3am, on the way to the kitchen for a drink when they see that green face out of the corner of their eye.
*shudder*
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Blech
I had always heard that Green Goddess salad dressing was very good, so for Easter dinner with the family, I decided to make some. Found a recipe, got the ingredients and threw it together.
I tried it on my salad.
All I could taste were the anchovies.
Ick.
Never again.
I tried it on my salad.
All I could taste were the anchovies.
Ick.
Never again.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
British Humor
Last night after Bible study, we were talking about Wales & the trip the sponsors are going to be taking there next summer. That somehow morphed into a discussion on differences between the Brits & Americans. One point brought up was that British humor is often very dry and dark. I mentioned that I have an English friend who once told me she could tell by my sense of humor that I'm descended from British stock. One guy said "Yeah, I can see that". From there it went into a discussion of Monty Python and degraded into quotes from MP & the Search for the Holy Grail. (At Bible study!!! - we're bad...)
And now, Bridget, Jon & I are discussing what states still technically have hangings & firing squads as methods of execution on the books. Jon said he's building a gallows in his backyard right next to his greenhouse.
Did I ever mention that Flanders, my older brother, made a working model of a guillotine for freshman shop class? It was the perfect size for a finger, although we only played with pencils & sticks with it. That thing was stinkin' sharp, though...
Oh yeah, we also caught about 50 frogs (for frog legs, ya know), killed 'em & popped all their eyeballs out to keep in a jar... (Whatever happened to that jar, I wonder?) Mom was always finding dead animals in the freezer that I'd find as road kill & keep to dissect.
These are stories I love telling to some of the city-folk to see what reaction I get.
And now, Bridget, Jon & I are discussing what states still technically have hangings & firing squads as methods of execution on the books. Jon said he's building a gallows in his backyard right next to his greenhouse.
Did I ever mention that Flanders, my older brother, made a working model of a guillotine for freshman shop class? It was the perfect size for a finger, although we only played with pencils & sticks with it. That thing was stinkin' sharp, though...
Oh yeah, we also caught about 50 frogs (for frog legs, ya know), killed 'em & popped all their eyeballs out to keep in a jar... (Whatever happened to that jar, I wonder?) Mom was always finding dead animals in the freezer that I'd find as road kill & keep to dissect.
These are stories I love telling to some of the city-folk to see what reaction I get.
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