The Name of the Jeep is...

Eowyn!

Eowyn had 17 votes, or 36%. Inara & Kaylee each had 4 votes or 9% and "Other" had 22 votes for 47%. I thought I'd list the names that y'all put in for "Other", along with my guess as to who submitted some of the names...

Jap (I think your Jeep is male!) ~ From a lovely lady at my long hair forum.
Wait, wait wait. Kaylee or Inara, but no Zoe? ~ Zoe should be something a bit more "slinky", tough and brown. Definately brown. Was this you, Pookie?
Mean Green driving Machine
RJ(rick james) ~ Devan, I presume...
RJ(rick james) ~ Yup, it's Devan
RJ(rick james) ~ Oh, it can't be anyone other than Devan
RJ(rick james) ~ Devan!!! C'mon, man!
Barney
Captain Hargrove
Fat B*st*rd ~ Okay, this one is either Brandon or Devan. And no, most definately not! *I can't believe I'm actually related to these two...* ;-)
The Newtonator ~ I'm guessing one of the two mentioned above... Again.
Green Automobile
Marsha
Stan
Gary
Poopslinger ~ Yeah, that'd be great with all the hobbits running around here - "Auntie LaLa, can we go for a ride in the Poopslinger?"
Tim
Barry
Darrell

Well, that was... interesting. Yeah, that's as good a word to describe it as any. Thanks for all your votes & ideas.

Workety Work Work Work...

I have a new job! Yee-Haw! I'm still at the same place, but I'm now a clinical records clerk, which means that I do all the filing for all six cottages. I'm also going to be setting up all or most of the appointments for the campus & I'll be the backup for the food lady when she's gone. This was my first full week filing. I'm actually enjoying it but it is taking me some time to get used to sleeping at night. I was almost asleep the other night when I got the feeling that something was very wrong & I started wondering why it was so dark. It took me a minute to realize it was nighttime & I was supposed to be in bed!

I have run across a couple great quotes in files or just listening to conversations in the offices...

"Can I get in my constipation box?" Umm... that should've been confiscation!

"I’m like Pinocchio… he’s a real boy just like I’m a real girl! I cut my strings! You ain’t no puppet-master!" - told to staff by a client

"I’d rather die as a young boy than to ever fumble this football!" - also said by a client

"I’m your only friend. I’m not your only friend but I’m a little glowing friend, but really I’m not actually your friend, but I am." - written by a client

And the best one, which describes this chick to a T - under Hobbies / Other Interests in a girl's file: "She likes to be as bad as she can"

Very Important

This is a video that everyone needs to see. The message that it gives... it's just, well... Just watch it & you'll understand.



See. Wasn't that enlightening?

And, yes, I am totally addicted to this song.

This. Is. Awesome!

Meet... The Duct Tape Bandit!

And this sounds like something from Monty Python...

And I might read more newspapers if we had more little gems like this:

'Everything had to be just right for this to occur,' Ebel said, possibly confusing 'right' with 'horribly, horribly wrong'.

Bwahahaha!

I have a new nickname that I absolutely love! But first, a little back story...

I have had several switchblades throughout the years, some bought on missions trips in Mexico & one purchased from my job partner at Cessna. I thought they were all lost until the parental units & I were cleaning some stuff out of the garage a month or so ago. I found one of them & was so excited that I carreid it with me everywhere for a while. I also had to show it to my friends at work, mostly for the reactions that I get. ;-P

Anyway, I was at work the other night & one of the supervisors was getting ready to go home. He stopped by the office & said "Hey, Switchblade Sally." Hehe. I think it's my favourite of all my nicknames. Maybe I can set it to some Wilson Pickett... "Switchblade Sally, think you better put your switchblade down..."

Funny Chillens

We have a new client. She's a tiny little bit of a thing. The other day, another staff had the following conversation with her...

Staff: So, where are you from?
Girl: (very perky) Haiti!
S: Oh. ... How old are you?
G: (again, very perky) Nine!
S: Why are you here?
G: (still perky) 'Cause I'm homicidal!
S: Oh. ... Oh! Really?
G: Yeah, I threaten to kill people!
S: Ooo-kay...

Looks like we'll be having some fun soon. Heh.

Things That Make You Go Hmmm...

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt?"

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
I think the answer lies somewhere in the word "decent"...

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Heh... I like this one

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
I've always wondered about that...

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
Oh, now that's just gross...

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
Mmmm... babies....
Crap. Now I'm thinking of that fat dude from Austin Powers. Getout!Getout!Getout! *sobs*

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Hey! I resemble that remark!

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Huh... so they do. Never noticed that.

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your (this word has been censored to protect virgin eyes - you can guess what it's supposed to be)?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
No, but it's fun to fight with Mom over who gets to push it :-D

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he can't wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?
Speaking of dogs, Rumsfeld ran off. Again. Been gone since Sunday.

I Have A Dream...

...A dream where, one day, instead of having to redirect the children with restrictions and amends that they care nothing about, they will wear shock collars & the cottages will have electrified zones so that they will stay in their designated areas.

A dream that those collars will have little ampules of Haldol & Geodon that can be triggered by a remote control so that when they go all crazy, staff won't get kicked or bit or punched trying to restrain them.

(For anyone who happens to be an extremely unfunny person - this is a joke.)

Actually, I would just settle for being able to spank them & wash their mouths out with soap.

(That part is not a joke.)

Ooooh, I also want C's idea of a little radio controlled helicopter with a wireless camera mounted on it for doing room checks - up & down stairs 32 times every night is not exactly my idea of fun. Especially on the fibromyalgia-pain-filled nights.

Church Funnies

Church Bulletin Bloopers: Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
~~~~~
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

Don't let worry kill you off..... let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping. She has requested tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church and so ends a friendship that began in their schooldays.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. (This one reminded me of an assignment back in 6th grade - we read the story of Icarus & his son & were answering questions about it. One of my answers was supposed to be "He lost his son but gained his freedom." We finished the project, switched papers with our neighbor & read the answers aloud as we were called on. The kid who had my paper got to that answer & gave a funny face before reading "He lost his but." Oops...)

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment & gracious hostility.

The ladies of the Church have cast-off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7PM. Please use the back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours."

Heaven Help Us...

From an independent living assignment in the cottage - What our half pint client will need when she moves into her first apartment:

1. bed
2. ckawch (couch)
3. silverwer
4. chaer (chair)
5. lamp
6. fernuter (furniture)
7. food
8. vakuomclener (vacuum cleaner)
9. brome (broom)
10. plunger
11. napcins (napkins)
12. grill
13. rags
14. londery baskit
15. sampow (shampoo)
16. condichner
17. mony
18. job
19. fiyerikstenwesr (fire extinguisher)
20. books
21. paper
22. plege
25. cawercertins (shower curtains)
26. tothbruch

I think she needs to add a dictionary onto that list. My favourites are the fire extinguisher & vacuum cleaner.

One of the other girls put "a man" on her list, right in between make-up & shampoo. Another listed "husband (Bill Gates)" on hers.

I can't quite decide whether this belongs in the D'oh or Ha, Ha, Ha category...

Duh George

The following is a transcript of a conversation with a little half-pint client we have. The one who pees in her vents & wanted to kill me with scissors. To set it up, she is not allowed to have crayons or markers in her room due to her either writing on the walls or just coloring & not doing a thing she's supposed to. Anyway, she wet her bed yesterday morning & was getting in the shower. As she was getting her things around, I noticed that she had stopped next to where we store the markers & such before going in to her room. On to the transcript...

Me: What are you doing?

Half-Pint: (blank look & a long pause as she takes her meds before answering) Huh?

M: What were you doing in the dining room?

HP: (another blank look & pause) Nothin'

M: Did you get some crayons & take them in your room?

HP: (staring up at me with big puppy eyes, along with yet another rather lengthy pause) No.

M: Are you sure?

HP: Uh-huh

She gets in the shower. C & I go in her room to find that she had put a box of crayons in her closet under a coloring book. Needless to say, they are now confiscated. After she gets out of the shower & is in her room, the intercom buzzes...

HP: (sounding quite outraged) WHERE ARE MY CRAYONS?!?!

M: The crayons that you are not supposed to have in your room in the first place & the ones that you lied to me about taking to your room? Those crayons?

HP: Uhhh... yeah. (another pause) Can I have them?

M: What do you think?

Food For Thought

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

Those who live by the sword... get shot by those who don't.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
-- George Carlin

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
-- Fred Allen

The wise man can pick up a grain of sand and envision a whole universe. But the stupid man will just lay down on some seaweed and roll around in it until he's completely draped in it. Then he'll stand up and go hey, I'm Vine Man.
-- Jack Handey (One of my favourites ~ LG)

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
-- Robin Williams

There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that.
-- Steve Martin

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Floggings will continue until morale improves.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them. (Another favourite ~ LG)

NINJA WIZARDS!!!

I die laughing (well, almost die, anyway...) every time I see this doohickey over at CalTechGirl's (secret???) lab.

Phone Menu

An oldie but goodie passed on from a friend at work...

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep.
Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up.
Our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry.
You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

~~~
Some days when my shift is over, I want to be admitted to the local mental hospital.

Welcome to the Funny Farm.

The Kitty Rules

Cat PhysicsSleepy Syd on the sofa

Law of Bag / Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

Law of Cat Acceleration
A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.

Law of Cat Disinterest
A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

Law of Cat Elongation
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.

Law of Cat Embarrassment
A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

Law of Cat Gravitation
A cat's gravitational pull (i.e. weight) will vary upward in direct proportion to the desire of the human to move the cat.

Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

Cave- kitty Sydney

Law of Cat Invisibility
Cats think that if they can't see you, then you can't see them.

Law of Cat Landing
A cat will always land in the softest place possible.

Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

Law of Cat Mass
The mass of a cat is inversely proportional to its desire to be picked up.

Law of Cat Motion
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

Law of Cat Obedience
As yet undiscovered.

Law of Cat Probability (Uncertainty Principle)
It is not possible to predict where a cat actually is, only the probability of where she might be.

Law of Cat Sleeping
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.

Law of Cat Stretching
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

Streeeeetch after a nap

Law of Cat Thermodynamics
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

Law of Cat Washing
A cat will wash itself at any time which is appropiate, which includes especially the moment after something has been jumped and escaped.

Law of Concentration of Mass
A cat's mass increases in direct proportion to the comfort of the lap she occupies.

Law of Dinner Table Attendance
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

Law of Electric Blanket Attraction
Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

Law of Energy Conservation

Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.My catalog, momma

Law of Equidistant Separation
All cats in a given room will locate at points equidistant from each other, and equidistant from the center of the room.

Law of Fluid Displacement
A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.

Law of Furniture Replacement
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

Law of Milk Consumption
A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.

Law of Pill Rejection
Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

Law of Random Comfort Seeking
A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

Law of Refrigerator Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

Law of Rug Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

Law of Selective Listening
Although a cat can hear a can of tuna being opened a mile away, she can't hear a simple command three feet away.

Law of Space-time Continuum
Given enough time, a cat will land in just about any space.

Syd on the curio cabinet

Found at Flippy's Cat Page

How Rude!

I am so loving the Shakespearean Insulter on my Google homepage. It pops up a different slam from ol' Bill everytime I go back.

[Your] brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after a voyage.

...

You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat's-tongue, you bull's-pizzle, you stock-fish--O for breath to utter what is like thee!-you tailor's-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck!

...

Thou tottering fly-bitten whey-face!

...

Thou froward clay-brained mammet!

...

What a drunken knave was the sea to cast thee in our way!

You Know You're From Kansas If...

1. You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water. True...
2. You have never met any celebrities. (Bob Dole isn't a celebrity; he's your neighbor.) I sat behind Rosie O'Donnell at Sea World. I was upset that the one time I see a famous person, it was just her...
3. You know the meaning of Rock Chalk Jayhawk. Yeah, but I kinda prefer K-State...
4. Your closest neighbor is more than a mile away and you can still see him from your front porch. Can't everyone do that?
5. You can properly pronounce Salina, Basehor, Cimarron, Schoenchen, Kechi, Olathe and Osawatomie. Of course...
6. Going on vacation means going to Hutch to the fair or to Abilene to Ike's museum. Yup & yup...
7. A traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other go first. Been there, done that...
8. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F10 4x4 is. (Except in Johnson County) Dodge, man, DODGE... with a Hemi. A lovely, lovely Hemi... or a Cummins. Man, now I'm drooling...
9. You discover that in July it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car. Fingers?!? Doesn't everyone drive with their knees?
10. The terms Sooners and Huskers cause hairs on the back of your neck to stand up straight and your blood pressure to rise. Mom's family is from Nebraska, so nope...
11. You have owned at least one belt buckle bigger than your fist. I'm proud to be able to say yes...
12. You think people who complain about the wind and weather in their states are SISSIES! 70 mile an hour winds, folks...
13. You are not surprised to find movie rentals, ammunition and bait all in the same store. Why would I be surprised?
14. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door but by the availability of shade. Oh yes, indeedy...
15. You have been asked, "Where is Toto" more than once. I shot Toto... :D
16. You had at least one summer job that was bucking bales or custom cutting. Does stacking hay on the college farm count?
17. More than once you've made a beer run to another state. Can't say as I have...
18. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned to multiply. Unfortunately, no... my brothers had the guns - I played with knives...
19. Your school classes have been canceled because of the cold. I was homeschooled, so not really...
20. You know in your heart that K-State can beat Oklahoma in football. Gotta say I don't really care *dives for cover from my football(?)-loving friends*
21. Traffic congestion is ten cars waiting to pass a combine on the highway. Oh yeah...
22. You have had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day. All the freakin' time...
23. You know everything goes better with Ranch. ???
24. Your school classes have been canceled because of the heat. See #19...
25. You have ridden the school bus for more than an hour each way. Uh-huh... (before the homeschooling days)
26. In August, you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:00 a.m. I wouldn't mind just a wee bit of that heat right now...
27. You instantly know someone is from Johnson County when they call everything west of Topeka "Western" Kansas. Lol!
28. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel. Or to hop in the car & go find it...
29. You know the real way to pronounce the name of Clinton's state and the river. ar-KANSAS
30. You think the opening day of pheasant season is a national holiday. Not really...
31. "Vacation" means going to Kansas City or Wichita for the weekend. Sad to say, but that is a rather big day around here...
32. You measure distance in hours. Yup...
33. You know several people who have hit more than one deer. Or pheasant, or calves, or...
34. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events. Sad to say, but yes, I have...
35. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. I slept with my front door open in college...
36. You think of the major food groups as beer, beef and beans. Beer = gross, beans = gross, dead cow = yum yum...
37. You carry jumper cables in your car and make sure your better half knows how to use them. I have no better half, I do have jumper cables but as far as using them - haven't a clue...
38. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. No kids, but it's not a bad idea...
39. You know the 4 seasons as: summer, road construction, still summer, winter. Are there other names?
40. It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town. Not here, but up home, yeah... Only problem was they knew me but I didn't know them...
41. You lock the doors to your truck but leave the windows rolled down. Not here - the kids from work might run off with Lucy, but in college & up home, of course...
42. You call sodas just plain ol' "Pop"!! Yup...
43. You feel safe leaving your truck running while you go in the gas station. Yup...
44. You had at least one field trip in grade school that went to a dairy farm or one room school house. Yup, & Mom went to a one-room school house...
45. FINALLY..... you are 100% Kansan if........... You actually understand these jokes. Yup...

Found on a KS Facebook page...

Carols & Crumpets

It's that time again - tea time! Woo-hoo! (Real lady-like, ain't I...)

This year it's a Christmas Tea, hence the title "Carols & Crumpets", & is a fundraiser for the Women's Ministry. I've spent today baking scones & shortbread & going through china with the Mothership. I'll post recipes later.

By the by, Mom is now a murderer of... Furby's! Twice today she bumped the Furby's in the closet & woke them up. The next several hours we heard odd mechanical voices emanating from said closet. Just as they shut up the first time, Mom had to get in the closet & bumped them again. This time, she knocked one off it's shelf (an accident, or so she claims) & killed it. The best part was as that happened, the other one said "Ooooh, scary!"

Another quick Furby story - Viking Dad is notorious for giving rather lengthy devotions. One day, (I was in college & so unfortunately missed it) Dad was once again getting long-winded, & in the midst of a pause, one of the Furby's, who was playing hide-&-seek, announced "BO-RING." I so wish I had been there. I heard Dad was not amused.

Anyway, back to the point of the post. Uhh, what was the point? Oh, right - tea. Yeah, okay...

Lost my train of thought here... Oh! Mom & I were both pretty worn out earlier, not awake yet or something & I went back to her room to see her flopped on her bed. I was cold so as we talked I crawled in the other side. We decided to nap & Mom said "We can tell Dad we're having a committee meeting." I like committee meetings. Napping is one of my favourite hobbies.

The tea is tomorrow afternoon, it's now 11:07pm & we ain't done yet. Good thing I took the night off at work...

Farm Fun

It appears that Dr. Phat Tony has exacted his revenge on Jack for cheating him out of his plan to kill Jill.

His post reminded me of some of the fun I had growing up on a sheep farm. Mind you, if you're city-folk, you'll likely find this more disgusting than fun(ny).

My family had the largest sheep farm in the county - Jackson Co, KS to be exact. I used to help with castrating the lambs & my job was to give 'em the shots after Dad used the nippers & before Grandpa banded their tails (to make them fall off).

I always liked to "help" Grandpa butcher. My idea of helping was playing with the innards after he gutted the sheep. See, you hang em up by their back feet, cut the throat & let the blood drain out before slicing them from stem to stern. The internal organs would fall out onto an empty feed sack where I'd get to learn about anatomy by cutting them up. The four stomachs were always cool but my favourite was the liver. Not sure why, but boy, they sure taste good fried up with onions & topped with a little mustard - yummy!

My cousins (all girls) & I would pretend to cook when we were younger, using mulberries, dirt, leaves, water, a little feed &, of course, placenta from recent births. My friend Pooky has taken to calling that concoction "placenta pie".

Mom used to open the freezer to find snakes, frogs, etc in ziploc bags that I had found on the dead on the road & saved to dissect. And of course, there were the frog legs & the time Flanders & I got a bunch of frog eyes in a jar...

Ah, good times... ;)

A Travesty

Why is today not a national, nay international holiday?!?

On this glorious day in 1903, one of the greatest men who ever lived, a man who has greatly impacted countless lives (and I must add, the man of my dreams) was born.

That's right, this is the birthday of the one, the only Curly Howard.

The fact that this day is not a galactic holiday is a travesty indeed.