Kids, Kids, Kids...

Ever want to throttle a child one moment & the next squeeze 'em & tell them everything will be alright?

Parents - you have my utmost respect.

Right now, we have some kids that I don't ever want to see again, some that I want to take home with me & some that bounce back & forth between the two. I guess it's always like that here, though.

The ones I wouldn't care to see again are the brats - they pick on the others, do anything & everything they can to grind others into the dust & think it's all a great big joke. They're here for their behaviours. Sometimes the parents can't control them, sometimes they just don't care enough to try. But these kids have a choice. They choose their paths.

The ones I want to tuck under my arm & carry home are the ones with genuine emotional problems and the ones who are MR (mentally retarded) & don't always have control over what they say & do. They haven't chosen that path, it was chosen for them. The one who punched me is my favourite. She goes around calling staff the "n-----" word & "lesbians". Doesn't matter what color skin you have or anything - she just shouts random stuff. I often call the girls Fred, George & Maynard. This girl usually gets Maynard & one day another staff called her for meds or something & she responded with "My name isn't J---, it's Maynard!" We also call her Jazzy Jeff & Grandpa. She loves the goofy nicknames.

~~~~~

I arrived to work about a week ago & noticed chalk outlines of bodies all over the sidewalk. I had to ask if we had any living clients left.

They are apparently loving the giant coloring sheets I got for them.

If you ever want to do something for some kids, find a local residential facility & donate books, clothing, shoes, hygiene products, decorating stuff, magazine subscriptions, sports equipment, anything you think a kid would enjoy. They will most certainly enjoy it, even if you yourself never hear anything about it. You never know what will touch someone's heart & change their life.

(Another suggestion - chocolate PRNs [as needed medication] for staff *grin*)

A Little Rant

Turns out a fella at work has been spreading lies about me. I worked one night with him & D, and he's claiming that we didn't do any work - he did everything. D cooked, we both packed meds for kids' home passes & we did some of the room checks as well as the laundry. I also spent part of the time mending clothing for the girls & sewing a (very cute) curtain for the kitchen window. He did some of the room checks & played on the internet the rest of the night.

Several people have told me that he's telling new staff that he did everything & we just sat there playing on the computer & that I was using the cottage's laundry facilities for my personal use. (I wonder if he also tells them that he went to sleep for over an hour one night, while working by himself, & no one could get a hold of him.) He says that he emailed the supervisor & we haven't worked there since. Umm... that's because we were filling in for someone else & haven't been needed there since. *major eye-rollage*

I really, really want to give him a rather large piece of my mind, but I fear his over-sized ego & under-sized brain would be unable to handle it. The result would likely be more & nastier rumors. The folks who know me wouldn't believe it, but with working the night shift, there are a lot of staff who don't know me & would believe every word.

Ah well, now that I've had my little rant, I can let it go & just let his nasty little attitude continue to poison himself.

Thank You

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all who have served & are currently serving in the military. You are what makes this country great. You are true heroes.

“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”
~ Teddy Roosevelt

Movies Galore

Since it seems to be the popular thing to do...

Pick out ten favorite movies, then look them up at IMDb. In the overview at the
top of each movie’s page, there are "Plot Keywords," usually five of them. (Plus
more, if you click the link.) Take the first five, and post them. Then the rest
of us get to play movie buff and see if we can guess them.

Here goes

1. Arranged Marriage / Friend / Drunkenness / Book / Insult

2. Interracial Romance / Spacecraft / Psycho Thriller / Slit Throat / Space Opera

3. Empire State Building New York / Remake / Chapel / Choir / Christmas

4. Stabbed in the Throat / No Opening Credits / Peril / Attack / Ancient Sword

5. Male Female Relationship / Love / Hotel / Diva / Gentleman

6. Severed Leg / Eccentric / Severed Arm / British / No Ending

7. Hypnotism / Assassination Plot / Birthmark / Jester / Fox

8. Broadway Musical / Asia / 1860's / Androgyny / Chakri Dynasyty

9. Coming of Age / Rags to Riches / Forbidden Love / Male Female Relationship / Cinderella Story

10. Estate / Sister / 19th Century / British / Love

I'll post the answers in a few days. And Google not, lest ye shall be Googled. Or something like that. Good luck ;)

Sugar Plum

I meant to put this in with the Baby Pictures post, but kinda forgot the little girl. This is Sugar Plum at 8 months, laughing at an apparently very funny Mommy. She loves to stick her tongue out.
I forgot to mention that when Belle, the kids & I went to Kansas City to visit Flanders in training for the new railroad job, a little birdy flew overheard & uhhh... unloaded onto Sugar Plum's head. She was just sitting there, grinning & laughing at us as we laughed at her with a spot of bird crap right smack dab on the top of her little forehead. She didn't care - it was all good to her.

Baby Pictures!

I forgot to mention that Peanut grad-e-ated from Nursing school. (Congratulations!) Jer already has plans to retire in June now that she'll be raking in the dough. A few pics (shamelessly stolen from Kat's Facebook page...)

Nameless (I so need to get a real nickname for this poor kid) with Auntie Peanut & Mommy Kat.
Nameless in the swing at the park. Isn't he a cutie-pie!
And now for the picture that will get me murderized - The Mothership & Peanut.
(Mom, it's a good picture. I don't wanna hear it... ) :-)

Also, forgot to mention that Peanut & Jer bought their first house. It's very cute with a lot of character. And they have the cutest fluffy little baby kitties. Jasmine & Krull the Warrior King are parents. Awww...

Things That Make You Go Hmmm...

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt?"

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
I think the answer lies somewhere in the word "decent"...

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Heh... I like this one

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
I've always wondered about that...

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
Oh, now that's just gross...

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
Mmmm... babies....
Crap. Now I'm thinking of that fat dude from Austin Powers. Getout!Getout!Getout! *sobs*

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Hey! I resemble that remark!

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Huh... so they do. Never noticed that.

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your (this word has been censored to protect virgin eyes - you can guess what it's supposed to be)?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
No, but it's fun to fight with Mom over who gets to push it :-D

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he can't wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?
Speaking of dogs, Rumsfeld ran off. Again. Been gone since Sunday.

Dave

A friend, Dave, died of a heart attack yesterday at work, while in one of the cottages with the kids. The girl who was going off & stressed him out is on the run. She doesn't yet know what happened, but her peers are threatening to kick the ever-lovin' you-know-what outta her once she returns.

His daughter also does overnights here & his dad/her grandpa died several months ago. In addition, the grandma is not in good health at all. So, please remember this family in your prayers. And the staff & kids here as well.

Old Maid Aunt

Lil'Un & Elf were after me again on Friday about my love life, or lack thereof.

They asked me if I had a boyfriend & then why not. I asked if I was supposed to have one, they said yes. I'm 28 and that's old enough, so I should be married. Then Lil'Un suggested that I marry Jay, their dad & my cousin. Sorry, kiddos, I may be a bit of a hick but my neck ain't that red...

What's sad is that with their mother out of the picture, both little girls have said they wished I was their mommy.

So do I.

I Have A Dream...

...A dream where, one day, instead of having to redirect the children with restrictions and amends that they care nothing about, they will wear shock collars & the cottages will have electrified zones so that they will stay in their designated areas.

A dream that those collars will have little ampules of Haldol & Geodon that can be triggered by a remote control so that when they go all crazy, staff won't get kicked or bit or punched trying to restrain them.

(For anyone who happens to be an extremely unfunny person - this is a joke.)

Actually, I would just settle for being able to spank them & wash their mouths out with soap.

(That part is not a joke.)

Ooooh, I also want C's idea of a little radio controlled helicopter with a wireless camera mounted on it for doing room checks - up & down stairs 32 times every night is not exactly my idea of fun. Especially on the fibromyalgia-pain-filled nights.

Turkish Martyrs

Warning: Very gruesome details are included in the following report.

From an email from a local missionary friend:

On April 18, in a gruesome assault against Turkey's tiny Christian community, five young Muslim Turks entered a Christian publishing office in the southeastern province of Malatya. They then tortured and slit the throats of the three Christians present.

The following report is from Asher Intrater in Israel. It is graphic. Indeed, the nation of Turkey is truly at a crossroads. Let us, therefore, pray with vision that the terrible deaths suffered by these Christians would result in the spread of the gospel to the people of Turkey.

Turkish Martyrdom
by Asher Intrater

Last week we reported on the murder on Wednesday, April 18 of three Christian evangelists in the east Turkey city of Malatya (46 year old German missionary and father of three, Tilman Geske; 35 year old ex-Muslim, pastor of the local church, and father of two Necati Aydin; and Ugur Yudsel, a younger, ex-Muslim, already engaged to be married).

The young Muslims who performed the murder were university students, all 19 years old (this was planned on purpose, as Turkish criminal law prevents harsh punishment for minors under 20).

The details of the murder are grotesque, reported as follows:

The boys tied Ugur, Necati, and Tilman's hands and feet to chairs and as they videoed their work on cell phones, they tortured them for almost three hours.

Tilman was stabbed 156 times, Necati 99 times, and Ugur's stabs were too numerous to count. They were disemboweled, and their intestines sliced up in front of their eyes. They were emasculated and watched as those body parts were destroyed. Fingers were chopped off, and their noses and mouths and anuses were sliced open.

When the police finally broke in, they found that Tilman and Necati had been slaughtered, practically decapitated with their necks slit from ear to ear. Ugur's throat was likewise slit and he was barely alive (dying shortly thereafter).

Over 500 hundred Christians showed up from all over Turkey to attend Necati's funeral in Izmir (including our friend and coworker MN, who carried with him donations for Necati's widow Semse, from Messianic believers in Israel). There are only a few thousand evangelical Christians in Turkey, a Muslim country numbering over 70 million people.

The front pages of all the largest newspapers in Turkey carried an interview with Susanne (Tilman's widow), saying "God forgive them for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34). In a nation where blood revenge is a normal part of the culture, Suzanne's statement of forgiveness came as a shock to many. One newspaper columnist wrote: "She said in one sentence what 1000 missionaries in 1000 years could never do."

The funeral was covered by all five of the major Turkish television news networks (as well as being filmed by the Turkish secret police). In a powerful message, Ishan Ozturk, head of the Protestant Churches in Turkey proclaimed, "For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain" (Philippians 1:23).

At the price of the blood of these martyrs and by the risking of the lives of the local Turkish Christians, the gospel has touched an entire Muslim nation in an unprecedented way. At the very time this speech was being given, the Holy Spirit fell upon our fellowship in Jerusalem, with Jewish believers falling to the ground, weeping in prayer, crying out for the salvation of the Turkish people.

Let us continue in faith and prayer at this turning point in the history of the Turkish nation. As it is said, "The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the gospel."

============================================================================Asher Intrater is a highly respected voice in Israel and beyond. Asher is a Jewish believer in Jesus, the Messiah. The Intraters' passion is to see a national revival in Israel. We invite you to visit their website - www.revive-israel.org

Pony Ride

I completely forgot to do a post on the pony ride Viking Dad & I did through Garden of the Gods when we were in Colorado last Labor Day weekend. (Nothin' like being timely...)

My horse was named Cannon & Dad's was Maverick. For some reason, he said that he was an intermediate rider, even though ol' Pebbles never went past a trot with him, knowing he wouldn't be able to handle it. He & Maverick got along well though. (I'm still kinda surprised.)The scenery was absolutely gorgeous.
See - purty rocks...
There was a lot of terrain that I wasn't sure the horses would be able to handle, but they did wonderfully. It would've been more fun had we been allowed to do more than a walk, but oh well.
See - steep, rocky stuff...

More purty rocks...

Yeah, not very talkative today. So, buh-bye.

Ugh...

I just realized that I've been in pain every day for 15 years. That's longer than most of the kids at work have been alive.

Crap. This bites.

Church Funnies

Church Bulletin Bloopers: Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
~~~~~
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

Don't let worry kill you off..... let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping. She has requested tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church and so ends a friendship that began in their schooldays.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. (This one reminded me of an assignment back in 6th grade - we read the story of Icarus & his son & were answering questions about it. One of my answers was supposed to be "He lost his son but gained his freedom." We finished the project, switched papers with our neighbor & read the answers aloud as we were called on. The kid who had my paper got to that answer & gave a funny face before reading "He lost his but." Oops...)

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment & gracious hostility.

The ladies of the Church have cast-off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7PM. Please use the back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours."

More Guns Please

I am getting sick & tired of seeing those "No Guns Allowed" signs every time I turn around.


I can understand what they are trying to achieve, but the method just doesn't make sense. I don't think a goblin is going to go to a store, see the amazing sticker on the door & go "Oh no! They have a sticker! I guess I can't rob this place!" Sorry, but that ain't gonna make a bad guy turn around & leave. All it does it keep out the honest citizens who are practicing their lawful right to carry. The only folks who would have a chance of stopping the evil-doer.

If I owned a business, my sign would say:

"You are more than welcome to concealed carry here. Just remember that we do too."

And I'd make sure that all my employees knew how to handle the guns we had on hand.