I have run across a couple great quotes in files or just listening to conversations in the offices...
"Can I get in my constipation box?" Umm... that should've been confiscation!
"I’m like Pinocchio… he’s a real boy just like I’m a real girl! I cut my strings! You ain’t no puppet-master!" - told to staff by a client
"I’d rather die as a young boy than to ever fumble this football!" - also said by a client
"I’m your only friend. I’m not your only friend but I’m a little glowing friend, but really I’m not actually your friend, but I am." - written by a client
And the best one, which describes this chick to a T - under Hobbies / Other Interests in a girl's file: "She likes to be as bad as she can"