The "C" Word

Yup, cancer. THAT dreaded "C" word. I certainly never thought it was something I'd hear at the age of 32, while pregnant with my first child.

I was diagnosed with papillary thyroid cancer at the end of July or the beginning of August. I can't keep track - it's been a crazy time recently. The good news is that the doctors all say that if you could choose your cancer, this would be the one to pick. It grows very slowly, is relatively easy to remove and there is a very low mortality rate. The problem is that it seems to grow more quickly during pregnancy.

It was discovered because I've thought for years that there was something wrong with my thyroid, but since labs came back normal, my doctor & I never pursued it. Once I was pregnant, I wanted to make sure everything was okay for the baby, so I had the ARNP check it out at my first OB appointment. She had labs done and palpated it. She said it felt slightly enlarged, but still within normal limits. Labwork came back, also slightly high but still within normal limits. She thought she had felt a nodule, so I was sent for a sonogram of my neck, which revealed a nodule about 3 x 4 cm, so I was referred to a surgeon. He did a fine needle aspiration, which is where they use several needles to get cells of the nodule to send to pathology. They said they would call the next Monday with the results, but I hadn't heard anything by Wednesday afternoon, so I called the nurse. She said the doctor had the results, but he hadn't told her anything yet. She called back later and said she hated to do this over the phone. I told her to go ahead. She said there was a small amount of cancer found. I think I took it easier than I might've otherwise, after learning the evening before that my grandmother, my last remaining grandparent, was diagnosed with breast cancer. The nurse said that it would probably be removed in a surgery, but that we needed to come in to talk to the surgeon. Long story short, he (and the endocrinologist I went to for a second opinion) advised removing it ASAP. There is no other way to really get rid of this kind of cancer, other than radioactive iodine, but more on that lovely subject later. There were certainly no other treatment options available at the time since I'm pregnant. So...

I had a total thyroidectomy on Friday, September 2nd. They estimated I'd be out for 1-1.5 hours, and had an ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat specialist) there to hopefully help the surgery go more quickly and smoothly. The surgery took about 2.5-3 hours. They took out the left side, which is where the original nodule was, had pathology do a frozen section to verify the cancer (yup, cancer) and then took out the whole shebang. The main left-side nodule was 5 x 4 x 3.5 cm, and there was another pea-sized nodule on the right side that was also cancerous. They removed eight lymph nodes and found cancer in three of those. They also removed the parathyroid on the left side because it (they? not sure if they took one or both) was right next to the tumor. The parathyroid is what regulates calcium usage, so I had blood drawn every six hours while I was in the hospital to check calcium levels and am now to be on a calcium supplement in addition to the thyroid replacement hormone.

Frodo, our little baby, was monitored before and during the surgery by checking her heartbeat. They also checked her heart tones at least every six hours while I was in the hospital and she sounded good and strong every time. The second trimester is best time for a surgery and, at 21 weeks, we were good to go. Hubby and I were both worried about her, but the doctors said the risks of letting the cancer go during the rest of the pregnancy were worse than the risks of the surgery.

After the surgery, the worst part has been getting over the breathing tube. The incision hasn't hurt, except for the first couple days and the few times I accidentally stretched too far. The drainage tube was a pain, especially since it was left in when I went home. I had it taken out the following Tuesday afternoon and everything is healing nicely. I have a very slight infection in the incision and there's some puss under the glue - they used dissolving stitches inside and glued it shut on the outside - but I'm on an antibiotic and go to see the surgeon about it on Wednesday. My PCP didn't want to mess with it when I saw her on Thursday. I am having to be careful not to overdo it, and have failed miserably both Wednesday nights - being in charge of 46 3-5 year-olds while short on leaders does not lend itself to resting much. I've been having some pain - fibromyalgia and pregnancy-related - after Cubbies and during the next several days. I had a nurse in the OB's office (we share some of the same space at my new job) threaten to tell on me to my doctor. I'm working on delegating more to relieve some of that stress and pressure. My hubby helps by fussing at me to sit down more. I did go back to work the next week after the surgery and worked half days Tuesday through Friday (Monday was Labor Day). I did full days last week and am getting my energy back. Mostly.

I have an appointment on October 7th to talk to my endocrinologist (endo) and go over the pathology report. I have a copy, but I don't speak much medical-ese, so it might as well be written in Old High Gallifreyan. The doctor I work for looked the report over and said that it is a more aggressive form than hoped for, and the surgeon told my family during the surgery that he would advise we do the next step of treatment ASAP after Frodo is born in January.

That next step of treatment is radioactive iodine. The surgeon is pulling for doing it six weeks to two months after the birth, but I want to breastfeed as long as possible. The endo said that, depending on the aggressiveness of the cancer, it can be postponed for even up to two years. I'm pulling for a year, because once I have this treatment, I can't go back to breastfeeding Frodo. I've talked to a pediatrician who said that I would be able to "pump and dump" for two weeks, but the milk ducts have to be cleared out before the treatment and, even if that wasn't done, the remaining radiation would nuke the baby's thyroid. I guess we'll see what the endo says on October 7th. This will be the toughest part, as I'll be radioactive (I'll need a Superman cape when I go for the treatment ;) ) and will be in isolation for one to three days (guess-timating) at the hospital, then will need to be in isolation for at least two to three weeks (also a guess-timate) at home. No holding my baby, no sitting with or sleeping next to my husband. That hit me very hard when I first learned that. I didn't even have my baby in my arms yet, and they were telling me I wouldn't be able to touch her for weeks! I did have a lady on my hair forum tell me that all three of her babies were in the NICU for weeks or months, and she had to go most of that time without holding them. If other parents can get through that, so can I, but I'm certainly not looking forward to it. We're already discussing getting a webcam for the main computer and I've got one my laptop, so we can communicate that way. We'd like to find a video baby monitor for the nursery as well.

Well, that's the latest on the cancer saga. I'll update again once we've met with the endo next month. I know there are a lot of people out there showering us in prayer and it means so much to know that Heaven is being bombarded on our behalf. Thank you, thank you and keep the prayers coming. :)

It's ALIIIIVE!!!

Time to necro this old thing from the graveyard of blogland. It's been a little over two years since I last posted and there have been a few changes in my life during that time. Let's see:

Went on my first date
Got engaged
Got married
Changed jobs
Accepted position as Directors (with my new DH) of Cubbies at church
Got pregnant
Was diagnosed with cancer
Had surgery to remove said cancer
Started the Cubbies year...

That's about it, so not much to tell. ;) I'll be doing posts on each of those major things, starting with the cancer thing, as I need to update friends and family with what's going on. Stay tuned for more exciting (?) bloggage! :dun dun DUUUNNN!!!:

Purple Hair?!?

I'm getting to where I finally can say that I have a definite favourite colour. It's purple. Below is a portrait of me by one of my Sunday School kindergartners. I was wearing purple that day. :)

"Gimme five... er... nine!"

I was inspired by a fellow member on my long hair forum who has hair about my length, but purple. It's mouthwateringly gorgeous! Unfortunately, I could never pull that off & I have a distinct fear of bleach, so that'll never be, excluding wigs. :sits up suddenly - "Hmmm...": So I splurged on some Manic Panic vegetable-based semi-permanent hair dye. Semi-perm meaning it should stay 4-6 weeks. I had a friend help me put in some streaks & SIL Shelly rinsed it out for me. No bleach, just the colour over virgin hair.

The evening it was done, rinsed only with cool water.

I loved it while it lasted, all of about 2 days. Tops. I do have more but it's a lot of trouble for one day of colour. I'm toying with the idea of bleaching (!!!) two streaks - one at my left temple & one above & behind my right ear - so that I can have funky colour there. But, there's the whole bleach damage/maintenance thing. Not sure I'd like the long term effects. I've tried to find clip-in extensions, but the longest reasonably priced ones I can find are only 18 inches long. That's half the length of my hair. I guess I just need to start saving all my shed hairs & make a clip-in extension of my own that I can bleach & colour.

My ends.

My naturally lighter ends took & held the purple better. I can still find some slightly purple-hued strands here & there when I'm searching for split ends. If I use my imagination...

iPod...

Here is the latest list from putting my iPod on shuffle:

The Four Seasons: Summer - solo violin by Janine Jansen

Send Her An Angel - Jackson Waters

When My Heart Beats Like A Hammer - B.B. King & Eric Clapton (the link is a different version without Eric)

The One - Abney Park

Great Lengths - PFR

A Thousand Miles From Nowhere - Dwight Yoakam

Two Hands - Jars of Clay

Sunrise - Norah Jones

The Motions - Matthew West

This might hurt, it's not safe

But I know that I've gotta make a change

I don't care if I break,

At least I'll be feeling something

'Cause just okay is not enough

Help me fight through the nothingness of life

.

(Chorus)

I don't wanna go through the motions

I don't wanna go one more day

Without Your all consuming passion inside of me

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,

"What if I had given everything,

Instead of going through the motions?"

.

No regrets, not this time

I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind

Let Your love make me whole

I think I'm finally feeling something

'Cause just okay is not enough

Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

.

Chorus

.

Take me all the way (take me all the way)

Take me all the way ('cause I don't wanna go through the motions)

Take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)

Take me all the way

.

Repeat Chorus

Red Letters - DC Talk
Lyrics for this song are on the video.

Job Status

I completely forgot to update here about my job situation. I posted it on Facebook, but that doesn't really help those of you that I'm not FB friends with.

I did get the Receptionist / Staff Assistant position that I had applied for. I started doing that fulltime on April 27th, so I didn't have to lose any seniority. It's not my ideal job, due to the almost constant contact with people, but I quite like it otherwise. I'm not a people person at all, but I've been told I fake it very well. :p

I do a lot of different things - forward faxes that come through the faxman email account, reserve cars & meeting rooms for folks, track different paperwork on the kiddos, mail out treatment plans & discharge summaries, send the mail out, tear down files, read all the weeklies (forms that document everything that every kid did that week) & log all family contact on a spreadsheet, make copies, inventory the company polo shirts, and whatever else needs to be done.

I'm still working on getting up in time to get ready & get to work at 8am. I realized that this is the first time I've had a normal 8-5 schedule in 12 years.

Hair, Hair, Wherefore Art Thou Hair...

(Okay, that title's strange, but whatever... )

My hair was at 34 inches, or just barely hip length (when the curl is pulled out - just hanging loose, it looks about waist) the last time I measured, which was around a month ago. I did have a growth spurt followed by a stall (grrr... ) back in December and January. From December 10th through January 27th (-ish), my hair grew 3 inches. Not bad when the average growth is supposed to be half an inch per month. I think the biggest difference was from adding Acidophilis to my daily vitamins. I also take fish oil, vitamin E oil, biotin, and a vitamin B complex for my hair. I also take a calcium, magnesium and zinc pill for my muscle spasms / cramps, but I've heard they help with hair growth, too.

After the spurt, my length only grew about a quarter inch in the next month. I'm trying not to obsess over it and so I'm not measuring very often.

A bun with a scarf twisted through it, held with a rose stick

I have changed some of my care routine a bit. I am trying Chagrin Valley's shampoo bars on my roots. The one I have right now is Honey, Beer & Egg, but I think it's a little too moisturizing for me. It's a sample size, so I don't have that much left. I do have the Carrot Milk & Honey, Chamomile & Citrus, Coconut Milk, Lavender & Spice (I think), Rosemary Mint, and Summer Sunshine to try out as well. I got the sample sizes so they were pretty cheap and they last a surprisingly long time.

I'm also trying to remember to use catnip tea to help prevent split ends. I soaked my hair in it last night, bunned and bagged it and slept on it all night. Be warned, though, if you try this, it will colour grays a pale blonde.

Speaking of grays, I think I found my first one a few weeks ago! It's smack on the top of my head and only about 2 inches long so I couldn't see it very well. It keeps hiding in with the others. I was hoping for a streak of gray around the scar at my hairline over my right eye, but I doubt I'll have such luck. Oh well. That one gray was such a shiny, pretty silver that I think I'll be quite happy when they do start coming in en masse.

Work Update

I keep thinking that I need to post to this blasted thing, but only when I'm driving or in church (way to focus, huh?) or someplace else that is Internet-less. Anyway, on to my little bit of news...

I got a 30-day lay-off notice on April Fool's Day, but alas, it was no joke. I've been in my current position as Clinical Records Clerk for a year now, which makes a total of 5 1/2 years at this company. They're restructuring though, and I knew that it was possibility that my job would be discontinued or upgraded, which is what they ended up doing. It now requires a bachelor's, so that immediately throws me out of the running. I did apply for the Front Desk / Staff Assistant position that I've been helping out with for the past few months. I interviewed for that yesterday and they said they should have a decision in a few days. So, if I happen to pop into your head, please toss up a prayer for me. That would be greatly appreciated. :)

So...

Let's see, what's been happening lately... We had Gavin & Clara the end of last week & the beginning of this week, so there were hobbits underfoot. Mom keeps Julia while Jennalee is at work & that one was not happy that she had to share her Grammie! They did help distract me from what was going on Tuesday, which also happened to be my 30th birthday. The socialist may try to ruin my country, but he wasn't going to crap all over my birthday too!

I've been spending waaay too much time playing Travian & reading. Yes, I'm a Twilight fan. *sigh* I picked up the first book out of morbid curiosity, but ended up liking it, so now I have the whole series. And yes, they did screw up the movie.

I'm getting caught up on reading other people's blogs, so I keep getting sidetracked from writing this little post. And Crumpet keeps getting in my face with the purring & trying to steal chenille sticks...

Music

I know - I've been a bad, bad blogger. Friends have taken me to task over it, saying I should provide them *cough*LaShay*cough* with something to read.

Here's a list of some recent songs that have popped up on my iPod whilst on shuffle. I'm linking to videos for the ones I could find.

Stand in the Rain by Superchick (a Firefly fanvid, but it has the song. And Firefly. Is it sad that I can tell you what episode every clip is from?)

Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone) by Chris Tomlin

Mo Ghile Mear by Celtic Woman

Supermassive Black Hole by Muse

455 Rocket by Kathy Mattea

Center of Attention by Jackson Waters

Worlds Apart by Jars of Clay

Harry's Game by Celtic Woman (the audio is off from the video on this one...)

Revelation Song

Washed by the Water by Needtobreathe

Spanish Lady by Celtic Woman

~~~~~
Yeah, I'm on a big celtic kick and have been since last August. The other ladies in the office could tell you...

Judgement House 2008 - Makeup Room

I was in the makeup room again this year & made up the tortured guys. Torturing people is apparently my specialty.

This is Joe, one of the guys I made up every night. I loved doing the slash across his face. All of the blood was done with a medium called "Fresh Scab". Quite fun to play with...

Joel was once again a demon, but this year he was Damien, a higher demon & apparently Satan's right-claw man. No collodion this year - just latex, fresh scab & the creams. Jennalee made up the Damiens, so this was her handiwork.

After completing Joe & Dylan, I would get my own makeup on. Mom said the dark around my eyes was very effective so I got to go with the raccoon look. My hair is nasty due to the shea butter & then mussing it up. It got a lot ickier as the night went on, with Fresh Scab & sweat added to the mixture. Lovely, huh...

My clawed face. I gave up putting anything other creams on my neck since it didn't last very long anyway. The first weekend I put the special effects gel on that I used on Joe & Dylan but I broke out in hives, so I was apparently allergic to something in there. The hives finally completely disappeared a week or so ago. Yay for Benadryl & hydrocortisone creams & sprays!

The Mothership - The Queen of Makeup. She made up the Satans every night.

Some videos from the makeup room. First up is James getting Damien-ized by Jennalee & then Ryan getting Satan-ized by Mom.



We had lots of fun in makeup, just in case y'all can't tell... ;) SUPER SATAN!

Judgement House 2008 - Hell

Our church just finished this year's production of Judgement House. We did the Web of Lies script this year & I was once again on the makeup team & played a tortured person in Hell.

First up, a video of our Hell scene...



The sobbing you hear - that's me. Which is why I'm still trying to get my voice back after 7 nights of constant sobbing & screaming. My hair is still recovering too. It would get fake blood matted in it, as well as sweat 'cause Hell is hot, ya' know. The first Saturday, we had some longer breaks between groups & left the heater running so it was 140 degrees in there for a while. We toned it down after that & kept it between 110 & 120. So the heat didn't help my hair either, but I started slathering it with shea butter before I went in & that would soak in & keep it from getting all crunchy.

And now for some pictures...

One of our Satans on his throne. He brought in a katana for the last night so we played around with that a bit. He also had these freaky contacts that made his eyes all white except for the pupils.


My little jail cell. It would get stinkin' hot in there. Some of the guys who were right in front of the heater said it was hotter in the jail cell than anywhere else. At least we had cushions to sit on.


Richard at the controls. He ran the tech for us again. I'll have a video up in another post where one of the Satans & Richard are playing with the voice changer.

After every group left, we'd gather up & pray for them as they went to the Heaven scene. Doing that had such an impact on the whole atmosphere. Tempers were calmed, as some characters have a tendency to get roughed up a little as they're being dragged out. Even though it was completely accidental, folks would sometimes get upset. There was also a lot of spiritual warfare going on. People were losing their voices, getting hurt, emotions going crazy for no apparent reason. The prayer helped so much, the change was unbelievable. I know it helped me, as my fibromyalgia should've acted up & I shouldn't have been able to walk without my cane. But I didn't even have any major pain until partway through the last night.

Our fearless leader. David is awesome! He had a lot of stuff going on - people calling to complain that Hell was too hot, too violent, too smelly, too loud, too whatever. C'mon folks, it's Hell. It ain't gonna be a picnic. In the real Hell, the demons aren't going to be giving everyone a tufted cushion to sit on, checking to make sure the temperature is to your liking or giving you a massage.

Performing Monkey Numero Uno

I now have my first ever performing monkey. (Confused? Read the little blurb under my profile pic at the top... Got it? Good.) There is a sad little man (?) who apparently feels he needs to display his lack of intelligence & good manners, and on my little corner of the intertubes, no less. Therefore, I have turned comment moderation on to keep him from dragging my comment sections into the sewer system with him. I apologize for any inconvenience to my friends & readers.

Note to my widdle monkey - feel free to leave all the nasty little bits of poo you wish, just know that they will be rejected. And if you think to offend me, think again. I work with teenagers. Teenagers with behavioural problems. I've heard it all, so you don't bother me. Now, if you don't mind -well, actually whether you do or not - I'm off to more important things than you, like picking lint from between my toes. Ta.

Oh yes, I'd like to request a trapeze act next, please.

And to my brothers & Dad - I know you will want to give this little booger a piece of your minds, but anything exceedingly inflammatory will also be rejected. I love you too. :)

My Hair Obsession

So, I got my pretty little hair sword last week. The more I see & use it, the more I love it! Ain't it purdy? The other one is a rose hair stick from longhairgirl.com. I love these things - they hold so well with less hair damage than elastics or metal barrettes. Plus, when your hair is up, the ends are protected & therefore get fewer splits.

I'm loving the condition my hair is in since I've changed the way I care for it now that I've discovered the Long Hair Community. See that shine! (I am so freakin' thrilled!) Even if you're not looking to grow long hair, your hair can benefit from the care tips you can glean there.
I thought I just had Chronic Big Hair Syndrome(CBHS). Waves that would poof out & flyaways that persistently, well... flew all over. Now that I've learned that CBHS comes when wavies & curlies use brushes & have started using oils, my hair is so different. It still has it's rebellious moments but the shine is phenomenal & it doesn't even tangle as much.

My new routine? I condition-wash-condition (CWC) every morning, although lately I've been experimenting with conditioner only (CO) follwoed by an Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV) rinse every other day. CWC is putting conditioner on from about the ears down, leaving that & shampooing the scalp only. Rinse everything & condition again. My deep conditioner is about four parts conditioner mixed with one part pure aloe vera gel & one part honey. I bun it, cover it with a plastic shower cap & then sleep on it all night before shampooing it out. After the shower, I carefully comb it out with a wide-tooth comb & then slide a little (seriously, a little goes a long way) coconut oil on. I let it dry a little & then whirl it up in a bun of some sort. When I take it down later in the day, I have the most awesome bun curls! Before I go to bed, I put some shea butter on the length, braid it & then either put my very (not) chic silky headcovering-doohickey on or just use my satin pillowcase. Like I said, the condition has improved so much. I still have lots of split ends that I'm slowly weeding out with Search & Destroy missions (S&D). I plan to eventually get rid of the layers I have. Not a lot of them, but it still makes it hard to braid all the way down. I want to get closer to my goal length first.

Most of the pictures on the hair forum are of the backs of folks' heads. It's kinda funny, but I had to get some while we were on vacation in the Black Hills. Mom got the above shot while we were on the walk up to Mount Rushmore. I've been doing my hair like that for around a year & never knew what it looked like until about a month ago.I asked Dad to get a shot of my hair. I didn't think I needed to tell him that the hair needed to be able to seen by the naked eye, but apparently... ;-)

The Name of the Jeep is...

Eowyn!

Eowyn had 17 votes, or 36%. Inara & Kaylee each had 4 votes or 9% and "Other" had 22 votes for 47%. I thought I'd list the names that y'all put in for "Other", along with my guess as to who submitted some of the names...

Jap (I think your Jeep is male!) ~ From a lovely lady at my long hair forum.
Wait, wait wait. Kaylee or Inara, but no Zoe? ~ Zoe should be something a bit more "slinky", tough and brown. Definately brown. Was this you, Pookie?
Mean Green driving Machine
RJ(rick james) ~ Devan, I presume...
RJ(rick james) ~ Yup, it's Devan
RJ(rick james) ~ Oh, it can't be anyone other than Devan
RJ(rick james) ~ Devan!!! C'mon, man!
Barney
Captain Hargrove
Fat B*st*rd ~ Okay, this one is either Brandon or Devan. And no, most definately not! *I can't believe I'm actually related to these two...* ;-)
The Newtonator ~ I'm guessing one of the two mentioned above... Again.
Green Automobile
Marsha
Stan
Gary
Poopslinger ~ Yeah, that'd be great with all the hobbits running around here - "Auntie LaLa, can we go for a ride in the Poopslinger?"
Tim
Barry
Darrell

Well, that was... interesting. Yeah, that's as good a word to describe it as any. Thanks for all your votes & ideas.

*Insert huge cheesy grin here*

I am so completely geeked over what is coming in the mail! Lookie...

It's a hair sword (or stick, if you want to be all technical & not-fun), based on Eowyn's sword from the Lord of the Rings movies! NightBlooming at Etsy custom made it for me & she said it went out in the mail today! I am so completely stoked it isn't even funny! Muahahaha!
Sweet... :-D