Sunday, April 29, 2007

Old Maid Aunt

Lil'Un & Elf were after me again on Friday about my love life, or lack thereof.

They asked me if I had a boyfriend & then why not. I asked if I was supposed to have one, they said yes. I'm 28 and that's old enough, so I should be married. Then Lil'Un suggested that I marry Jay, their dad & my cousin. Sorry, kiddos, I may be a bit of a hick but my neck ain't that red...

What's sad is that with their mother out of the picture, both little girls have said they wished I was their mommy.

So do I.

I Have A Dream...

...A dream where, one day, instead of having to redirect the children with restrictions and amends that they care nothing about, they will wear shock collars & the cottages will have electrified zones so that they will stay in their designated areas.

A dream that those collars will have little ampules of Haldol & Geodon that can be triggered by a remote control so that when they go all crazy, staff won't get kicked or bit or punched trying to restrain them.

(For anyone who happens to be an extremely unfunny person - this is a joke.)

Actually, I would just settle for being able to spank them & wash their mouths out with soap.

(That part is not a joke.)

Ooooh, I also want C's idea of a little radio controlled helicopter with a wireless camera mounted on it for doing room checks - up & down stairs 32 times every night is not exactly my idea of fun. Especially on the fibromyalgia-pain-filled nights.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Turkish Martyrs

Warning: Very gruesome details are included in the following report.

From an email from a local missionary friend:

On April 18, in a gruesome assault against Turkey's tiny Christian community, five young Muslim Turks entered a Christian publishing office in the southeastern province of Malatya. They then tortured and slit the throats of the three Christians present.

The following report is from Asher Intrater in Israel. It is graphic. Indeed, the nation of Turkey is truly at a crossroads. Let us, therefore, pray with vision that the terrible deaths suffered by these Christians would result in the spread of the gospel to the people of Turkey.

Turkish Martyrdom
by Asher Intrater

Last week we reported on the murder on Wednesday, April 18 of three Christian evangelists in the east Turkey city of Malatya (46 year old German missionary and father of three, Tilman Geske; 35 year old ex-Muslim, pastor of the local church, and father of two Necati Aydin; and Ugur Yudsel, a younger, ex-Muslim, already engaged to be married).

The young Muslims who performed the murder were university students, all 19 years old (this was planned on purpose, as Turkish criminal law prevents harsh punishment for minors under 20).

The details of the murder are grotesque, reported as follows:

The boys tied Ugur, Necati, and Tilman's hands and feet to chairs and as they videoed their work on cell phones, they tortured them for almost three hours.

Tilman was stabbed 156 times, Necati 99 times, and Ugur's stabs were too numerous to count. They were disemboweled, and their intestines sliced up in front of their eyes. They were emasculated and watched as those body parts were destroyed. Fingers were chopped off, and their noses and mouths and anuses were sliced open.

When the police finally broke in, they found that Tilman and Necati had been slaughtered, practically decapitated with their necks slit from ear to ear. Ugur's throat was likewise slit and he was barely alive (dying shortly thereafter).

Over 500 hundred Christians showed up from all over Turkey to attend Necati's funeral in Izmir (including our friend and coworker MN, who carried with him donations for Necati's widow Semse, from Messianic believers in Israel). There are only a few thousand evangelical Christians in Turkey, a Muslim country numbering over 70 million people.

The front pages of all the largest newspapers in Turkey carried an interview with Susanne (Tilman's widow), saying "God forgive them for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34). In a nation where blood revenge is a normal part of the culture, Suzanne's statement of forgiveness came as a shock to many. One newspaper columnist wrote: "She said in one sentence what 1000 missionaries in 1000 years could never do."

The funeral was covered by all five of the major Turkish television news networks (as well as being filmed by the Turkish secret police). In a powerful message, Ishan Ozturk, head of the Protestant Churches in Turkey proclaimed, "For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain" (Philippians 1:23).

At the price of the blood of these martyrs and by the risking of the lives of the local Turkish Christians, the gospel has touched an entire Muslim nation in an unprecedented way. At the very time this speech was being given, the Holy Spirit fell upon our fellowship in Jerusalem, with Jewish believers falling to the ground, weeping in prayer, crying out for the salvation of the Turkish people.

Let us continue in faith and prayer at this turning point in the history of the Turkish nation. As it is said, "The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the gospel."

============================================================================Asher Intrater is a highly respected voice in Israel and beyond. Asher is a Jewish believer in Jesus, the Messiah. The Intraters' passion is to see a national revival in Israel. We invite you to visit their website -

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Pony Ride

I completely forgot to do a post on the pony ride Viking Dad & I did through Garden of the Gods when we were in Colorado last Labor Day weekend. (Nothin' like being timely...)

My horse was named Cannon & Dad's was Maverick. For some reason, he said that he was an intermediate rider, even though ol' Pebbles never went past a trot with him, knowing he wouldn't be able to handle it. He & Maverick got along well though. (I'm still kinda surprised.)The scenery was absolutely gorgeous.
See - purty rocks...
There was a lot of terrain that I wasn't sure the horses would be able to handle, but they did wonderfully. It would've been more fun had we been allowed to do more than a walk, but oh well.
See - steep, rocky stuff...

More purty rocks...

Yeah, not very talkative today. So, buh-bye.


I just realized that I've been in pain every day for 15 years. That's longer than most of the kids at work have been alive.

Crap. This bites.

Church Funnies

Church Bulletin Bloopers: Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

Don't let worry kill you off..... let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping. She has requested tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church and so ends a friendship that began in their schooldays.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. (This one reminded me of an assignment back in 6th grade - we read the story of Icarus & his son & were answering questions about it. One of my answers was supposed to be "He lost his son but gained his freedom." We finished the project, switched papers with our neighbor & read the answers aloud as we were called on. The kid who had my paper got to that answer & gave a funny face before reading "He lost his but." Oops...)

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment & gracious hostility.

The ladies of the Church have cast-off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7PM. Please use the back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours."

Thursday, April 19, 2007

More Guns Please

I am getting sick & tired of seeing those "No Guns Allowed" signs every time I turn around.

I can understand what they are trying to achieve, but the method just doesn't make sense. I don't think a goblin is going to go to a store, see the amazing sticker on the door & go "Oh no! They have a sticker! I guess I can't rob this place!" Sorry, but that ain't gonna make a bad guy turn around & leave. All it does it keep out the honest citizens who are practicing their lawful right to carry. The only folks who would have a chance of stopping the evil-doer.

If I owned a business, my sign would say:

"You are more than welcome to concealed carry here. Just remember that we do too."

And I'd make sure that all my employees knew how to handle the guns we had on hand.

Heaven Help Us...

From an independent living assignment in the cottage - What our half pint client will need when she moves into her first apartment:

1. bed
2. ckawch (couch)
3. silverwer
4. chaer (chair)
5. lamp
6. fernuter (furniture)
7. food
8. vakuomclener (vacuum cleaner)
9. brome (broom)
10. plunger
11. napcins (napkins)
12. grill
13. rags
14. londery baskit
15. sampow (shampoo)
16. condichner
17. mony
18. job
19. fiyerikstenwesr (fire extinguisher)
20. books
21. paper
22. plege
25. cawercertins (shower curtains)
26. tothbruch

I think she needs to add a dictionary onto that list. My favourites are the fire extinguisher & vacuum cleaner.

One of the other girls put "a man" on her list, right in between make-up & shampoo. Another listed "husband (Bill Gates)" on hers.

I can't quite decide whether this belongs in the D'oh or Ha, Ha, Ha category...

Wednesday, April 18, 2007


More Fun Quizzes at
I like this result!

LadyGunn may explode without warning


With a curtsy to Leslie the Explorer...

Oh The Humanity!

I've found a new way to terrorize the kids at work. I just tell them that I haven't turned my TV on for several months, don't listen to (c)rap music & have never been on a date. Heh. One girl's eyes got so big I thought they were going to fall clean outta her head.

Oh yeah, I also got one of those el cheapo flying monkey toys that have rubber bands in their arms & make a really annoying & loud screeching sound. Great for pestering them until they decide to crawl out of bed. Plus it doesn't give me that headache I get when I do a really bad, really loud off-key opera version of "On Top of Spaghetti".

Sunday, April 15, 2007

How Deep The Father's Love For Us / Not Be Shaken

First off, I need to apologize for not being the Light that I should be on here. It is far too easy to let the cares & worries of this life to distract me from my real purpose. The message today at church reminded me of that. These deep, real posts require actual thought & time to put together without (hopefully) sounding like a total moron, so I keep putting them off & putting them off &... yeah. They don't get done. So, I'm sorry.

Anyway, on to the meat of the post.

The sermon today was based on Matthew 5:14. The whole relevant section is included below.
14"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
The nature of light is to shine. It can't shine if it is hidden away for lack of effort to simply stand up or for fear of what others may think. (I'm preaching to myself here.) It doesn't matter how big or small the light is. Light is merely the absence of darkness. If you are in a dark room, no amount of yelling, pleading or fist shaking will lessen the darkness. All you need is one tiny spark to make the darkness recede. As the speaker said today, "You don't have to be big, you just have to be on."

My light has been smothered under the stresses I've been dealing with lately & I often wonder if God could ever really care that one of his people is so tired & feeling down-trodden that she can't seem to care anymore. The music we sang this morning really hit home. God doesn't care how tremendously I fail. He just loves me. Me! A wretch who nailed Him to the cross, put Him through the most horrific torture ever loosed on a being & then repeatedly tosses that aside & goes on about my (not-so) merry way. I ignore Him until I'm so exhausted & hopeless that I'm on my knees in defeat, praying for it to just be done with. Then He comes along, gently picks me up, dust me off & reminds me that He's there to walk with me, to carry me if need be. It must break His heart every time I say "Oh, thanks, but I've got everything under control now, talk to You later..." & head off in my own direction. Just to fall flat on my face again. And He's always there, again. And again. And again...

Whoa, this post has really drifted from where I intended it to go, but it's probably where I needed to go. If you want to see what Christianity is all about, please, please, don't look at me. I'm a mess, a normal (? :-o) person who screws up over & over again. Get a Bible, read the New Testament (John is a good place to start) & see what Jesus has to say, in His own words. His being who He is is the only reason I am worth jack squat. I think I need to give the jazz a rest & go back to listening to Christian music again. It gives me a chance to clear my mind, forget the cares of the day & just sink into who God is.

I've made notes several times to do posts for both the songs listed below, but forget by the time I get to a computer. I decided to hit the tech booth right after the sermon was dismissed, so hopefully my durn brain wouldn't shut off before I got my chance to something worthwhile. If this is a wandering mess, I apologize. Hopefully y'all can glean a little Truth from these chicken scratches.

How Deep The Father's Love For Us
by Stuart Townend

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Not Be Shaken

I will declare my choice to the nations
I will shout for joy to the congregation
I will worship God (men), worship God (women)
All my days

Those who love the Lord are satisfied
Those who trust in him are justified
And I will serve my God (men), serve my God (women)
All my days

When the nations crumble (women)
The word of the Lord will stand (men)
Kings may rise and fall (women)
His love will endure (men)
Though the strong may stumble (women)
The joy of the Lord is strength (men)
To my soul
I will not be shaken
I will not be moved
I will not be shaken

I will declare my choice to the nation
I will shout for joy to the congregation
I will worship God (men), worship God (women)
All my days

Those who love the Lord are satisfied
Those who trust in him are justified
I will serve my God (men), serve my God (women)
All my days

When the nations crumble (women)
The word of the Lord will stand (men)
Kings may rise and fall (women)
His love will endure (men)
Though the strong may stumble (women)
The joy of the Lord is strength (men)
To my soul
I will not be shaken
I will not be moved
I will not be shaken

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

I Have Good Taste

Of course good taste = expensive.

Like this vase for $130 from the Smithsonian store.

Or the Lorelei vase from Van Briggle Art Pottery in Colorado Springs I saw while on vacation.
For a mere $275. They did have one there in the show room that had a few tiny, tiny cracks on the inside lip that they were willing to let go for $155. Sad to say, I was very tempted.

Empty Headspace


I would really, really like to know what (if anything) the higher-ups are thinking here at work.

We have 5 cottages open right now, all Level 6 (the next level up is the mental hospital) & we are already short-staffed. We are also supposed to open a temporary shelter for boys here in the next week. How in the world are we supposed to do that when staff are already working overtime like crazy (a friend worked 130 hours in the last 2-week pay period)?

No wonder the turn-over rate is so high. They tell new hires one thing (new overnights don't have to cook as they will always be working with someone who's been here a while & the other person can do that) & then stick them in a completely different situation (the regular person is on vacation or sick & 2 noobies are working together & neither knows how to cook). They try to implement new plans without thinking whether they are logical in the first place or even legal. People are promoted depending on who their buddy is. Certain jobs aren't even posted to the rest of the company, just offered to someone. Until they want to demote someone & then everyone with that same job title has to reapply for their job, just so they can get rid of that one guy.

Granted, it's a little better than it used to be. I lost count of the number of times I worked by myself in a cottage with 12 kids (2 staff are legally needed if there are more than 10 kids), a co-ed cottage, mind you (we were supposed to have 2 staff for that no matter the number of clients). Not to mention the times that no one was scheduled to replace me. I was supposed to work 12am-12pm on Saturdays & 12am-9am on Sundays (so I could make it to the Sunday School class I helped with) but stayed until 2 or 3 in the afternoon most every time due to no staff. One weekend I was the only one on the schedule on the Sunday overnight, no one was scheduled at all from 9am-noon & a fairly new lady was the only one scheduled from noon-midnight. I had worked 18 hours the previous day & couldn't get anyone to help me. I had emailed & talked to my supervisor for several weeks before that day & she said would take care of it. Guess what - she went on vacation that week with nothing set up. I worked until 6pm that Sunday night, when I broke down in tears from being so tired (and I don't cry). Then they finally got someone in there to help. GAHHH!

And don't get me started on the therapists - I'm liking the one we have now, but one guy (who's thankfully not here anymore) about drove several staff to quit. He had his Master's & my theory is that he sat in classes for so long that his brain rotted & was thereafter incapable of using anything resembling common sense. He said that we weren't allowed to restrain the kids for physical aggression. They could be tearing stuff off your car & putting as many dents & scratches as they like in it, but oh no, we mustn't restrain the poor little dears. (slight sarcasm there) I had a plan - if they wanted to tear up a vehicle, they could do anything they wanted to the green station wagon & I wouldn't touch them. Mess with another car though, and I wouldn't pay a lick of attention to what little Mr. Therapist-Boy said. One kid hit a staff with a plastic hanger, so the staff gently put her hand on the boy's arm & guided him to time out. When she got back to the office, the therapist chewed her out & said she shouldn't have done that. Yeah, nothin' like letting a kid get away with hitting staff.

I sooo need another job.

/rant off


Our church secretary was in a car accident last Friday. A fella pulled out onto the highway in front of her and, well... you can see her car for yourself.
Her injuries: broken right heel, broken right rib, 4 inch laceration above her right eye, lacerations on the back of her head, broken left arm, laceration below her left knee, bruising & small cuts. The other guy just had minor injuries. She was taken to a Wichita hospital & is moving to rehab sometime this week.

And stoopid me - I called & left her a voicemail on Saturday wondering where the layout of PowerPoint announcements I needed was at. Yeah, brilliant I know.

Please keep her in your prayers.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Hurry Postal Dudes!

I finished book 7 in the Wheel of Time series. All can say is that the postal service fellas better hurry. A body in book withdrawal is not a pretty sight.

Duh George

The following is a transcript of a conversation with a little half-pint client we have. The one who pees in her vents & wanted to kill me with scissors. To set it up, she is not allowed to have crayons or markers in her room due to her either writing on the walls or just coloring & not doing a thing she's supposed to. Anyway, she wet her bed yesterday morning & was getting in the shower. As she was getting her things around, I noticed that she had stopped next to where we store the markers & such before going in to her room. On to the transcript...

Me: What are you doing?

Half-Pint: (blank look & a long pause as she takes her meds before answering) Huh?

M: What were you doing in the dining room?

HP: (another blank look & pause) Nothin'

M: Did you get some crayons & take them in your room?

HP: (staring up at me with big puppy eyes, along with yet another rather lengthy pause) No.

M: Are you sure?

HP: Uh-huh

She gets in the shower. C & I go in her room to find that she had put a box of crayons in her closet under a coloring book. Needless to say, they are now confiscated. After she gets out of the shower & is in her room, the intercom buzzes...

HP: (sounding quite outraged) WHERE ARE MY CRAYONS?!?!

M: The crayons that you are not supposed to have in your room in the first place & the ones that you lied to me about taking to your room? Those crayons?

HP: Uhhh... yeah. (another pause) Can I have them?

M: What do you think?

Friday, April 06, 2007


You Are A Romantic Realist

You tend to be grounded when it comes to romance.
Sure, you can fall hard... but only for someone you've gotten to know.
And once you're in love, you can be a total romantic goofball...
But you'd never admit it to your friends!
I'm a goofball without being in love! If that were to get any worse once I fall in love... ooooh boy.

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as warm and well-balanced.

Overall, your true self is moody and dynamic.

With friends, you seem thoughtful and interested in ideas.

In love, you seem like a huge flirt.

In stressful situations, you seem selfish and moody.
A flirt!?! Ah... no. I don't even know how to flirt, unless it's a situation where everyone knows it's just a joke. (The goofball thing from above) And I've had bosses & coworkers tell me they haven't seen anyone stay as calm as I do in a crisis, so moody - not really.
I mentioned in the last post that I had the next 2 books in the series I'm reading waiting at home. Nope, the last 2 in the series are waiting at home. The next one should be in the mail & I just ordered books 8 & 9, so I should be set now.
And now the library is closing, so they're gonna kick me off the internet. Dagnabbit.

Thursday, April 05, 2007


I had to change the painting up in the title area. The Mothership pointed out something I'd not noticed - the chick had a little, ummm... wardrobe malfunction. I figure this one is more appropriate anyway, 'cause I've had my nose stuck in a book a lot lately. I'm halfway through book 6 of the Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan & have books 7 & 8 waiting at home.

The dog is back home after being neutered. So far, he's not run off, but I feel bad for the poor guy. Anyway, hopefully now he'll quit moving the cistern lid that he's chained to. He's moved it a good 8 inches. It's solid concrete, mind you. Nutcase. I would have to get a freakishly strong dog.

Went up yonder to the farm with Bobo. We were there about an hour before hopping in Belle's van to head to Kansas City to visit Flanders, who started a new job with the railroad there. Bobo wore his Superman cape the whole day and he & Little Man had fun at the park we visited.

By the way, I don't think I've posted a picture of Sugar Plum yet.... well, here she is.

Zoo 03-13-07 027.jpg

Take a look at those cheeks! And she is so happy & fun, especially when the little tongue is sticking out.

Well, now that I've said hey (Hey!), I think I'll head back to my hibernation...

If You Don't Like The Weather...

... just wait 5 minutes.

At least, that's what we do here in Kansas. It's been so nice that I've had my windows open for the last week. The other day it was around 80, and now today... snow.

Sheesh. Craziness.