Oh. My. Gosh.

Yesterday my coworkers & I discovered the dangers of diarrhea.

One of the girls, who was described by the therapist as the craziest client she's seen, came out to use the restroom. She came to the office & just stared at me. I was getting ready to ask what she needed when she mumbled "I have diarrhea". I said that the bathroom was open & then... the smell hit. It was so bad I'm surprised I didn't see a green wave of funk floating at me. Girl was in there for quite a while. I went to check on her nut she had finally gone back to her room. I thought I saw lint on the floor so I flipped on the light and... nope. Not lint. Definately not lint.

The girl had gone back to bed - no shower, nothin'. I had her get up & clean the bathroom. I mean the whole stinkin' room. The floor, the toilet seat, the so-clogged-I-could-see-it-from-the-door toilet bowl, the door, the counter... ev.ery.thing. Another staff had already started spraying chemicals while I was getting trash bags. She had to be redirected several times to go finish it all. She eventually finished & showered. I left about that time.

Last night, I heard from the other staff that she did put her clothes & bedding in the washing machine like I asked, but she left all the crap on everything & shoved so much stuff in there that it smelled like "burnt diarrhea". That bedding, needless to say, is now in the dumpster but only after getting it out of the washer & spreading more crap all over the laundry room. The staff told me she got sick after seeing/smelling all of that.

Ick.

On a brighter-smelling (& yummier) note, I was working with the same staff this morning & she offered to get me a doughnut since I was staying late to help her out. I told her I wanted a Bavarian cream with chocolate icing & she said "an ovarian cream?" I spit out the drink I just taken & corrected her. Later we were laughing about it & she got mixed up again & said something about "Bavarian cysts." Basically, be careful when you order a doughnut in these parts.

This. Is. Awesome!

Meet... The Duct Tape Bandit!

And this sounds like something from Monty Python...

And I might read more newspapers if we had more little gems like this:

'Everything had to be just right for this to occur,' Ebel said, possibly confusing 'right' with 'horribly, horribly wrong'.

Note To Self...

Don't read ghost stories while working alone in a dark cottage...

The Piano of Doom

Ya' know those old player pianos that you can drop a quarter in & then hear some "lovely" music from? Yeah, well, Mom's booth at the local antique shop is right behind one of those things. Durn people kept dropping quarters in that stupid thing when we were there on Saturday & it plays L.O.U.D. I was really wanting a shotgun there for a while.

For the piano, not the customers. Mostly...

Bwahahaha!

I have a new nickname that I absolutely love! But first, a little back story...

I have had several switchblades throughout the years, some bought on missions trips in Mexico & one purchased from my job partner at Cessna. I thought they were all lost until the parental units & I were cleaning some stuff out of the garage a month or so ago. I found one of them & was so excited that I carreid it with me everywhere for a while. I also had to show it to my friends at work, mostly for the reactions that I get. ;-P

Anyway, I was at work the other night & one of the supervisors was getting ready to go home. He stopped by the office & said "Hey, Switchblade Sally." Hehe. I think it's my favourite of all my nicknames. Maybe I can set it to some Wilson Pickett... "Switchblade Sally, think you better put your switchblade down..."

Useless Fluff

You Are Mud Pie

You're the perfect combo of flavor and depth Those who like you give into their impulses

What Kind of Pie Are You?

Mmmm... chocolate...
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You Are a Chocolate Cake

Fun, comforting, and friendly. You are a true classic, and while you're not super cutting edge, you're high quality. People love your company - and have even been known to get addicted to you.

What Kind of Cake Are You?

Mmmm... chocolate...
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You Are Smores

Unusual and unconventional, you make your strange ways work for you. You've got personality - no one's denying that!

What Dessert Are You Most Like?

Mmmm... chocolate...
I think I'm noticing a wee bit of a trend here...
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You Will Not Be a Cool Parent

And that's pretty okay. While your kids may not think of you as a friend, they will respect you. You know that kids need discipline and structure, and you're not afraid to give it to them. Just be careful that your strictness doesn't lead to rebellion. It's good to have standards and rules, but you don't need to have an iron fist when enforcing them.

Would You Be a Cool Parent?

Kids - the reason closets, duct tape & straight jackets were invented...
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You Should Own a Husky

Athletic, free-spirited, and perfect for cuddling

What Kind of Dog Should You Have?

I used to have two Huskies.

Mackenzie, Mac for shirt, was 1/2 Husky, 1/4 Rottie & a 1/4 German Shepherd. He was so cute & sweet, but unfortunately he hung himself from a friend's back porch when I was staying over. Yes. I had a dog who committed suicide.

Stetson was my other one & he was a purebred. I got him cheap from a breeder due to one testicle not dropping. He wasn't as lovey as Mac but he was stinkin' gorgeous. He was in my senior pictures but some dude stole him & Peanut's little Rachel. We know who did it but we can't prove it. He & a buddy would steal people's dogs & then sell them to a lab in Missouri for $250 / head.

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The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Not too shabby...

With a tip o' the hat to the lovely lady Leslie...

Whoa...

No posts for 2 weeks! D'oh! Well, I'm back again. Been busy - moved from my house to the parental units' house. My house sold and Mom & Dad don't take possession of their new house until the 27th, so I'm in their current house for now. My poor kitties have to bow to the senior kitty, Boo, & so are now outside puddy-tats. The kittens are loving the fenced-in backyard but it's taking Sydney a bit to get used to it. She's dropped some weight after hiding out underneath the playhouse for the first 3-4 days. Poor Rumsfeld was going to be too neglected with my crazy schedule, so he went to the Humane Society. There was already someone coming to look at him before we left. Hopefully he's with someone who can give him the attention & room he needs.

I guess I forgot to mention that Mom & Dad bought a new house. It's 10 acres (I think), west of town with - get this - a firing range!!! Waa-hoo! *happy dance* LH is probably going to be doing some of his concealed-carry classes out there.

The family reunion has been cancelled. The Wyoming portion of the family wasn't going to be able to make it & Mom, Dad & I are moving during that week, so it just wasn't going to work. And I emailed the lady in charge of the church's women's retreat & explained my schedule, so I'm off that commitee. Mom is still on it though, so I'll end up helping anyway. :-)