Thursday, May 17, 2007

Things That Make You Go Hmmm...

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt?"

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
I think the answer lies somewhere in the word "decent"...

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Heh... I like this one

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
I've always wondered about that...

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
Oh, now that's just gross...

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
Mmmm... babies....
Crap. Now I'm thinking of that fat dude from Austin Powers. Getout!Getout!Getout! *sobs*

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Hey! I resemble that remark!

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Huh... so they do. Never noticed that.

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your (this word has been censored to protect virgin eyes - you can guess what it's supposed to be)?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
No, but it's fun to fight with Mom over who gets to push it :-D

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he can't wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?
Speaking of dogs, Rumsfeld ran off. Again. Been gone since Sunday.

No comments: