Arrgghh Mateys!

I needs be walkin' the plank. This wench neglected to run up the Jolly Roger yestermorn. Aye, a scallywag I be! Throw me in the brig for fergettin' 'twas National Talk Like A Pirate Day, laddies. Just leave me flintlock an' cutlass be or I'll be leading a mutiny again' ye!

(I think I need a little practice with this whole piratey thing. I did remember yesterday at work, so the girls got a good dose & I ended up with a sore throat from all the "Arrr"s.)

And from the Veggified landlubbers:
The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything

Pa Grape, Mr. Lunt, Larry:
We are the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay at home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you
We don't do anything

Pa Grape:
Well I've never been to Greenland
And I've never been to Denver
And I've never buried treasure in St. Louis or St. Paul
And I've never been Moscow
And I've never been to Tampa
And I've never been Boston in the fall

Chorus w/ Pa Grape, Mr. Lunt, and Larry

Mr. Lunt:
And I've never hoist the mainstay
And I've never swabbed the poopdeck
And I've never veer to starboard 'cause I never sail at all
And I've never walked the gangplank
And I've never owned a parrot
And I've never been to Boston in the fall

Chorus

Larry:
Well I've never plucked a rooster
And I'm not too good at ping pong
And I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall
And I've never kissed a chipmunk
And I've never gotten head lice
And I've never been to Boston in the fall

Pa Grape: Huh? What are you talkin' about? What's a rooster and mashed potatoes have to do with being a pirate?
Mr. Lunt: Hey, that's right. We're supposed to sing about pirate-y things.
Larry: Oh!
Pa Grape: And who's ever kissed a chipmunk? That's just nonsense! Why even bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?
Mr. Lunt: I think you look like Cap'n Crunch.
Pa Grape: Huh? No, I don't.
Mr. Lunt: Do too.
Pa Grape: Do not.
Mr. Lunt: You're making me hungry.
Pa Grape: That's it. You're walking the plank.
Mr. Lunt: Says who?
Pa Grape: Says the Cap'n, that's who.
Mr. Lunt: Oh yeah? Aye aye, Cap'n Crunch! hehehehe
Pa Grape: Argh!
Mr. Lunt: Yipes!

Larry: And I've never licked a spark plug
And I've never sniffed a stink bug
And I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball
And I've never bathed in yogurt
And I don't look good in leggings

Pa Grape: You just don't get it.

Pa Grape, Mr. Lunt, and Larry:
And we've never been to Boston in the fall.

Pa Grape: Pass the chips! Who's got the remote control?
Larry: Here it is!
Mr. Lunt: Time for Geraldo!
Pa Grape: It's definitely time for Dragnet.
Mr. Lunt: Oh, I don't like this show.
Larry: Hey, look! I found a quarter!