Monday, December 04, 2006

You Know You're From Kansas If...

1. You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water. True...
2. You have never met any celebrities. (Bob Dole isn't a celebrity; he's your neighbor.) I sat behind Rosie O'Donnell at Sea World. I was upset that the one time I see a famous person, it was just her...
3. You know the meaning of Rock Chalk Jayhawk. Yeah, but I kinda prefer K-State...
4. Your closest neighbor is more than a mile away and you can still see him from your front porch. Can't everyone do that?
5. You can properly pronounce Salina, Basehor, Cimarron, Schoenchen, Kechi, Olathe and Osawatomie. Of course...
6. Going on vacation means going to Hutch to the fair or to Abilene to Ike's museum. Yup & yup...
7. A traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other go first. Been there, done that...
8. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F10 4x4 is. (Except in Johnson County) Dodge, man, DODGE... with a Hemi. A lovely, lovely Hemi... or a Cummins. Man, now I'm drooling...
9. You discover that in July it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car. Fingers?!? Doesn't everyone drive with their knees?
10. The terms Sooners and Huskers cause hairs on the back of your neck to stand up straight and your blood pressure to rise. Mom's family is from Nebraska, so nope...
11. You have owned at least one belt buckle bigger than your fist. I'm proud to be able to say yes...
12. You think people who complain about the wind and weather in their states are SISSIES! 70 mile an hour winds, folks...
13. You are not surprised to find movie rentals, ammunition and bait all in the same store. Why would I be surprised?
14. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door but by the availability of shade. Oh yes, indeedy...
15. You have been asked, "Where is Toto" more than once. I shot Toto... :D
16. You had at least one summer job that was bucking bales or custom cutting. Does stacking hay on the college farm count?
17. More than once you've made a beer run to another state. Can't say as I have...
18. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned to multiply. Unfortunately, no... my brothers had the guns - I played with knives...
19. Your school classes have been canceled because of the cold. I was homeschooled, so not really...
20. You know in your heart that K-State can beat Oklahoma in football. Gotta say I don't really care *dives for cover from my football(?)-loving friends*
21. Traffic congestion is ten cars waiting to pass a combine on the highway. Oh yeah...
22. You have had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day. All the freakin' time...
23. You know everything goes better with Ranch. ???
24. Your school classes have been canceled because of the heat. See #19...
25. You have ridden the school bus for more than an hour each way. Uh-huh... (before the homeschooling days)
26. In August, you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:00 a.m. I wouldn't mind just a wee bit of that heat right now...
27. You instantly know someone is from Johnson County when they call everything west of Topeka "Western" Kansas. Lol!
28. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel. Or to hop in the car & go find it...
29. You know the real way to pronounce the name of Clinton's state and the river. ar-KANSAS
30. You think the opening day of pheasant season is a national holiday. Not really...
31. "Vacation" means going to Kansas City or Wichita for the weekend. Sad to say, but that is a rather big day around here...
32. You measure distance in hours. Yup...
33. You know several people who have hit more than one deer. Or pheasant, or calves, or...
34. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events. Sad to say, but yes, I have...
35. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. I slept with my front door open in college...
36. You think of the major food groups as beer, beef and beans. Beer = gross, beans = gross, dead cow = yum yum...
37. You carry jumper cables in your car and make sure your better half knows how to use them. I have no better half, I do have jumper cables but as far as using them - haven't a clue...
38. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. No kids, but it's not a bad idea...
39. You know the 4 seasons as: summer, road construction, still summer, winter. Are there other names?
40. It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town. Not here, but up home, yeah... Only problem was they knew me but I didn't know them...
41. You lock the doors to your truck but leave the windows rolled down. Not here - the kids from work might run off with Lucy, but in college & up home, of course...
42. You call sodas just plain ol' "Pop"!! Yup...
43. You feel safe leaving your truck running while you go in the gas station. Yup...
44. You had at least one field trip in grade school that went to a dairy farm or one room school house. Yup, & Mom went to a one-room school house...
45. FINALLY..... you are 100% Kansan if........... You actually understand these jokes. Yup...

Found on a KS Facebook page...

4 comments:

Bigsibling said...

That's hilarious, all of them are TRUE!

viking dad said...

no. 37--we'll work on that---you can be up and running on that in a few minutes

LadyGunn said...

Dad - the better half part or the jumper cables? ;)

Jasmine said...

I'm from Halstead, but now in Denver, and this really made me miss home. Thanks for posting!