UJ: Good Morning I'm Uncle Jimbo, subbing for Scott McClellan who really just
wasn't cut out for lying to you piranhas. The rules for this daily farce have
been changed to reflect the fact that your organizations are basically
adversaries and active opponents of the elected US Government. Consequently you
will now be treated as representatives of the side you have chosen, the bad
guys. I will tell you the unvarnished truth when it suits the purposes of our
country, and I will bold-faced lie to you when that furthers our cause. That
cause is freedom and the consensus 'round here is that you either don't share
those goals or are too idealistically ignorant to understand how to create it.
So, let the games begin.
Of course, this jewel from Frank J.'s In My World has always been a favorite...
"I think the president welcomes the fact that we are a democracy and people in the United States, unlike Iraq, are free to yadda yadda yadda," Fleischer responded, now staring at the Gameboy quite intensely, apparently fighting a boss monster in the game Metroid Fusion that he was playing.
"You’re not even paying attention to us!" shouted another reporter.
Fleischer then angrily chucked his Gameboy at the reporter, striking him in the head. "There, I paid
you some attention."
"Ow! That hurt!" cried the reporter.
"Ow! That hurt!" Fleischer repeated in a high-pitch, mocking voice.
"You’re the meanest press secretary ever!" the man yelled before running out of the press conference crying.
"Anyone else want to waste my time with one of your idiotic questions?" Fleischer asked angrily.