Cat Physics
Sleepy Syd on the sofa
Sleepy Syd on the sofa
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.
A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
A cat's gravitational pull (i.e. weight) will vary upward in direct proportion to the desire of the human to move the cat.
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
Cave- kitty Sydney
Cats think that if they can't see you, then you can't see them.
A cat will always land in the softest place possible.
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
The mass of a cat is inversely proportional to its desire to be picked up.
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.
As yet undiscovered.
It is not possible to predict where a cat actually is, only the probability of where she might be.
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
Streeeeetch after a nap
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.
A cat will wash itself at any time which is appropiate, which includes especially the moment after something has been jumped and escaped.
A cat's mass increases in direct proportion to the comfort of the lap she occupies.
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.
Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.
My catalog, momma
My catalog, mommaAll cats in a given room will locate at points equidistant from each other, and equidistant from the center of the room.
A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.
A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.
Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.
Although a cat can hear a can of tuna being opened a mile away, she can't hear a simple command three feet away.
Given enough time, a cat will land in just about any space.
Syd on the curio cabinet
Found at Flippy's Cat Page
3 comments:
Terribly funny list, I laughed out loud!
"Galstaff, you have entered a door to the north. You are now by yourself standing in a dark room. The pungent stench of mildew emminates from the wet duengeon walls... WHERE ARE THE CHEE-TOS!!!"
"Can I have a Mountain Dew?"
"But I want grey eyes..."
"Roll the dice & see if I'm getting drunk!"
Pookie, Pookie... you are the Dr. of... GRAVY!!!
Post a Comment