I thought this was appropriate for a Sunday. Found at Lyn of Bloggin' Outloud's Pun Page.
The Lord and I are in a shepherd-sheep relationship, and I am in a position of negative need. He prostrates me in a green-belt grazing area, and conducts me into lateral proximity with a non-torrential aqueous accumulation. He restores to original satisfaction levels my psychological makeup.
Notwithstanding the fact that I make ambulatory progress through the non-illuminated geological interstice of mortality; terror sensations shall not be manifest within me, due to the proximity of omnipotence. Your pastoral walking aid and quadruped-restraint module induce in me a pleasurific mood state. You design and produce a nutrient-bearing support structure, in the context of non-cooperative elements.
You enact a head-related folk ritual, utilizing vegetable extracts, and my beverage container exhibits inadequate volumetric parameters. Surely it must be an intrinsic, non-deductible factor that your inter-relational, emphatic and non-vengeful attributes will pursue me as their target focus for the duration of the current non-death period. And I will possess tenant rights in the residential facility of the Lord, on a permanently open-ended time basis.